Men have hairy butts. Truth.
And by “down there,” we do not just mean around your stick and berries. Just take a moment, turn around, and look at your butt in the mirror. We know that might take a little more flexibility for some of you, but it’s fine.
It does not matter if you’ve got some junk in the trunk, if you’re more of a flat-butt guy, if you have lighter hair or darker hair — hair grows on men’s butts. It’s a whole evolution thing that we will get into in a second, but the gist of the story is you might, er, want to handle that part of your body a little.
Yes, yes, we understand. People might have told you your butt is cute. Question: was it with pants on or pants off? Sorry to be so honest with you guys, but it’s necessary.
At MANSCAPED™, we know how to manage body hair, wherever it is located, so let’s talk about your butt.
(Furthermore, we want to make sure you have the confidence you need to take off your pants in any situation. Correction, any LEGAL situation. Society still likes pants for a lot of interactions, but you get our point.)
Don’t worry, though. Regardless of your hairy butt situation, we are here to tell you the many ways to handle butt hair removal for men:
- hair removal cream
If you’re really committed, there are permanent solutions that we’ll discuss, too.
While it’s ultimately your choice whether or not to take care of that hairy butt of yours, just stick with us through the process. There are professional services out there as well to help tame the butt mane, so it’s ok if you can’t reach back there or don’t want to even cross that bridge. Let the professionals have at it. And then tip them well.
Some food for thought
Butt hair captures poo particles. Have you ever had a dingleberry situation? Have you ever seen a dingleberry situation? Yeah, that’s not pleasant for anyone. Let’s take butt hair a little bit seriously today.
Why, oh why, do we even have butt hair?
Our way, way, way back-in-the-day ancestors needed smell to attract mates. Smell that was a little more…animalistic in nature.
Do we need to spell it out for you?
Humans are primates. We’re animals. Ever seen dogs sniffing each other’s butts? There you go. Super old-school humans were really hairy and they didn’t have all of the amazing MANSCAPED™ products you have today.
Smells stayed trapped in that hair. Like, lots of smells.
Smells from sweat, from their past meal, from mud and muck, and, unfortunately, smells from genital area stuff were all part of the ancient human cocktail. When they wanted to mate, Dryopithecus, Ramapithecus, Australopithecus, Homo Erectus, and probably even Homo Sapiens Neanderthalensis gave a big ole’ whiff, caught a funk of a scent on the breeze, and then went off to reproduce. Sexy, right?
Now, fast forward a hundred thousand years or so and our mating rituals are not as uncouth, but there’s a reason we still use cologne. Smells attract mates. We’re a tad bit more sophisticated in our methods now, but that sensory aspect is still around today.
Body hair also exists to eliminate friction spots. Friction builds up heat, causes chafing, and affects the upper layers of skin, which leads to open sores. Back in the day, a tiny sore could get infected in no time, and then, BAM, you’re dead. One of the most friction-prone areas of a human’s body is right between their butt cheeks. So that, dear friends, is why anus hair also exists.
It’s true; hair is not just on the surface of the cheeks. It’s all up in there.
Butt hair and butthole hair are part of your genetics. All of that said, are you ready to learn how to get rid of butt hair?
How to trim and shave your butt properly
Are you ready?
We’re going to go through a few different methods for managing that butt hair. Which are the best? You’ll need to choose that for yourself.
Trimming your butt
Trimming is one of the most popular butt hair-removal methods. Here’s how to do it: Take off your drawers, lay down a Magic Mat®, and grab The Lawn Mower® 4.0 trimmer of yours with a guard. If you have the flexibility to trim your own butt hair, that’s awesome, but a lot of you might need a very supportive friend or partner who can also help.
Trim, trim, trim up one cheek and then the other until that butt hair is a little more groomed. You might need to spread 'em a little to get all that surface area. It should be fast, painless, and will get you out of the Sasquatch realm.
If you need a handheld mirror to really see what you’re doing, get one! The more mirrors the better when you’re dealing with a spot literally behind you.
Our suggestion for trimming your butt hair is once a week, just like other body hair maintenance routines. Everyone’s butt hair is different though, so just pay attention and take care of the situation as needed.
Shaving your butt
Smooth as a baby’s bottom…again. Lucky you. Learn how to shave your butt the right way.
- Start with the trimming above and then hop in the shower, bust out the shaving cream, and grab a razor.
- Lather it up, prop up one leg, and shave that hair off one cheek at a time. Then spread em’ just like above and get the total surface area smooth.
- Make sure to check your razor after each pass and rinse as needed to unclog all the hair. Take your time.
- If you can’t reach all the spots by propping up one leg, assume the squat position, and try it from the underside. Again, this is where a little handheld mirror might come in handy.
- Rinse off and wash the area when you’re done, and touch your butt for spots missed (and address).
Unlike trimming, shaving is a close-contact situation to removing butt hair, so you do need to commit to a level of skincare if you go this route. You want to pat dry and apply some moisturizer. Then, let it soak in before you get dressed. Even though it’s also for your balls, our Crop Reviver® will work great on your newly shaved buttocks.
Waxing is a little more painful than shaving, but it lasts longer, so it has its advantages for sure. You can use a DIY home kit sold at any grocery or pharmacy store, but there are also waxing services for men (just use good ol’ Google).
Waxing involves covering your bum in warmed-up wax and then removing the hair by applying a strip of cloth to which the wax and hair attach to. In one quick motion, the cloth pulls off the wax, and all the hair comes with it, taken out by the roots. Now, this needs to be repeated across the surface area of your buttocks, so it will take a few times.
Waxing also softens hair instead of having prickly stubble all the time. In many cases, waxed hair grows back less and less, so that’s another positive.
Hair removal cream
Hair removal cream is popular with the female variety for removing leg hair. Spoiler: it works for men, too.
There are a TON of hair removal creams and products on the market today though. Hair removal cream is applied to the entire area needing hair removal, and then it sets for a recommended amount of time (usually a few minutes). Then, with a damp cloth or quick rinse, the cream is removed and the hair comes away as well.
Hair removal cream is made up of some pretty intense ingredients and people will sometimes have a negative skin reaction to a cream. If it is left on too long, burning can happen. Most importantly, do NOT, we repeat, do NOT put cream around your anus. No exposure to a super-sensitive spot on your body!
While it’s effective and lasts longer than shaving, we recommend using creams with caution and applying the same skincare as a shave.
Also, always test a small amount of cream on your wrist or hand before committing to the whole butt. Make sure you don’t have a negative reaction.
Electrolysis is FDA-approved, but it’s an expensive route to permanent hair removal. However, if you have the cash and are committed, it might be the perfect solution. It’s not like you’re going to wake up one day and miss your butt hair.
Electrolysis is typically done by a dermatologist or plastic surgeon, so you’ll need to become a patient, and there will be a consultation. Dermatology procedures are also typically not fully covered by insurance (or even covered at all), so this will be a primarily out-of-pocket expense.
The process of electrolysis involves inserting a probe directly into the base of a hair follicle. Then, through activating a shortwave radio frequency, the hair is shocked and killed. No more hair, no more growth.
This is a permanent hair removal solution for any body hair, not just your butt, in case you’re interested.
Now between the cheeks
While the whole of the butt cheeks has the first priority, it’s now time to focus on the anus. This spot between the cheeks can be exposed by a pull in one direction and then the next. Insert your hand between the crack and pull one cheek to the side, trim, shave, or wax and then the other.
The squat position might be your best bet here too and bonus, you can squat OVER the handheld mirror. Oh, yessir, addressing that hairy butt and butthole of yours is an intimate experience. One you’ll never forget and it’s healthy to get to understand your body, so embrace it.
Whether it is trimming, shaving, or waxing, always go with the grain.
If you're trimming, it can be done after a shower and once you’re dry. Or before a shower. Or in the shower. Whichever method works for you in this case.
If you’re shaving, make sure to do it in the shower with gel. Always have a clean razor and check it often to rinse out the hair for the smoothest shave. Take. Your. Time. Make sure you take care of those sensitive areas with caution! Rinse off, dry, and apply skincare products.
It might feel a little weird down by the anus the first time you trim, shave or wax because your butt cheeks are touching in a different way. There is not as much hair or no hair at all, so you’ll feel like a new man.
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