Let’s just take a moment to pause and think about how far the human man has come in the realm of grooming and hygiene.
Our step-by-step complete gentleman’s guide to men’s grooming is going to have three main parts:
- Quick history review
- Little (just a little) rant on the state of well-roundedness
- Then the meat
- Head hair
- Body hair
- Groin area
We need to just paint a little picture first, so bear with us…
Quick history review
Back in the caveman days when every day some new, bigger, and stronger beast of the Ice Age was trying to make a little snack out of us humans, men weren’t exactly thinking about how to trim their public hair just right.
Then there was starvation, disease, and this thing called weather that just caused all sorts of other problems for humans living in caves and straw huts, so the man's beard, for example, looked a little different. It was basically a scarf that was attached to a man’s face because modern textiles weren’t a thing yet and it got bloody cold outside (Ice Age, people). We don’t even want to imagine what that beard experience was like…ugh.
Oh, hold on a second, we can picture lots of dirt, sweat build-up, some sort of leftover bit of food, snot…layer upon layer…nope, not thinking about it…
Fast forward through a few thousand years of evolution, civilization, and technological advancement and we now have men who can spend a hot second or three on their appearance.
Modern-day medicine has told us that cleanliness and health go hand in hand as well, so there’s that too. Modern-day partner preferences and social conventions have evolved to tell us that your eyebrow hair should not, in fact, jut out of the sides of your face (sorry, Einstein, you were brilliant, but you needed someone like us to help with the eyebrows, sheesh, man).
Men should wear things like deodorant and cologne-like fragrances because human sweat stinks. Men should shower…often. Men should clip their nails, trim all the hair, shave certain areas, and take care of that unibrow situation. Men should clean out their ears, brush their teeth (twice a day, gents), and take care of those random nose and ear hairs.
Now men have control of their grooming and hygiene routines because they have time, relative safety, relative financial security, and the correct tools and products (you’re welcome).
The state of well-roundedness
Being dirty, grimy, smelly, and untamed is not a state of bliss for any man and it’s certainly not a state of bliss for anyone around him.
You think your nutsack smells after a solid gym workout. One workout. Imagine what our caveman friend’s nether regions smelled like. Or just another random nutsack all of just one hundred years ago or so. Yes, we’re standing by the image and smell exercise we just planted in your brain.
You, modern man of 2022, are one lucky son of a gun.
You’ve got entire companies like us making a living out of improving your male grooming and hygiene experience.
Alright, enough with the history lesson and the rant, but hopefully we’ve driven our point home.
If you’re reading this article, you’re probably already doing a level of male grooming and hygiene. Bravo, that’s the first step and we applaud you for being a responsible man. Society thanks you, your partner thanks you, and that random person you're sitting next to on the subway thanks you.
What we can help you with though is making sure you’re well-rounded, not forgetting anything. We can point you in the right direction for some amazing new grooming and hygiene tools and products as well.
It’s all well and dandy that your head hair is cut and brushed and your beard looks all groomed and fancy, BUT, what about that back hair? What about that butt hair? What about that insane bush of yours that makes people wonder why, just why? His head hair and beard are so nice…why does he not groom his body hair? Or his groin hair for Christ’s sake? Why, Kenny? Take care of your bush. It’s like a beard for your genitals, so it deserves the same care and attention.
Consistency, men. Consistency and well-roundedness are the mindsets for male grooming and hygiene.
So, let’s get started outlining our complete gentleman’s guide to men’s grooming, shall we?
We’re onto the meat:
- Head hair
If you take a moment to think about all the parts of a man’s head that need attention, you’ll see the list is actually quite lengthy:
- Head hair
- Beard hair
- Mustache hair
- Sideburn hair
- Eyebrow hair
- Neck stubble
Each part of your head needs a level of grooming and hygiene. For those of you that have a lot of hair on your head/face/neck or have hair that grows darker or quicker, that’s going to be more involved.
For those of you who have lighter hair, opt for the clean-shaven look, or don’t have a lot of hair in general, you still have a level of responsibility to your mug.
We have a few tips and tricks we recommend for the head hair section:
- Get a professional haircut once a month. You can maybe go six weeks if your hair is on the longer side. For guys who like maintaining short hair, you might need a trim up more often just to make sure the lines stay fresh and clean. Even if you do keep your hair longer, you want to go in every six months, at least, so that your style stays maintained and doesn't start to look unkempt. If you have a shaved head or are bald, you might be able to maintain this on your own, but remember there are professional services out there if you need them.
- Invest in a good shampoo and conditioner like our 2-In-1 Shampoo + Conditioner. It cleanses, it nourishes, it’s non-greasy, and it’s filled with ingredients that smell good, hydrate, and revitalize.
- Buy the damn nose hair trimmer. We have the perfect tool for you with the Weed Whacker® electric nose hair trimmer. Especially as you get older, men, nose hair is going to become more and more of a thing. Our nose hair trimmer will also work on ear hair, so it’s a twofer. We recommend adding this to your routine at least once a week.
- Clean your ears, inside and out with a little soap and water and a cloth or your finger. You can have a stash of Q-tips for the outer bits too. Nobody likes visible ear wax buildup.
- Brush your teeth. Floss. Go to the dentist. You’re a big boy. (Yes, all of this is bold for a reason.)
- Groom your eyebrows. Remember, there should be two eyebrows and they should be tame. Invest in a mustache comb specifically for your eyebrows, a high-quality pair of tweezers, and a high-quality pair of cosmetic scissors. We have a whole article with step-by-step eyebrow grooming techniques and suggestions as well. Men’s eyebrows can be more natural, so any shaping, tweezing, or trimming can probably happen every week or so. Every day though, wash your face and comb down your eyebrows so they lay flat in one direction for the start of your day.
- If you’re man enough to grow a beard, be man enough to make it look good. Take some time to learn how to trim and maintain your beard so that it always looks its best.
Grooming your beard is a DAILY thing. That doesn’t mean you have to trim it daily, but it does mean you need to wash it, brush it, shape it, and make sure it’s moisturized and tame.
Invest in the right beard tools like a high-quality trimmer, high-quality razor (cough, cough The Plow® 2.0), beard brush, and beard oil or lotion. A mustache comb and pair of cosmetic scissors will also come in handy for a beard, especially when you’re shaping and maintaining your mustache.
- Body hair
For this section, we’re going to focus on body hair that is non-head hair because we covered that above and non-groin area hair because it’s special enough it gets its own section. So, that means body hair will encompass arms, legs, back, chest, butt, and stomach.
The gist, in our opinion, with body hair (and kind of your general body), is that you need to (1) keep it clean and (2) keep it maintained.
- Keeping it clean is pretty straightforward. Take showers and use a good body wash like our UltraPremium™ Body Wash daily shower gel. Make sure to fully get your body wet and take your time really soaping up everything.
- Next is to keep it maintained. If you are a hairy dude, just keep it under control. You have The Lawn Mower® 4.0 to trim down bulky hair areas and prep areas that you want to shave completely. The Lawn Mower 4.0 comes with adjustable guards to give you control over length as well.
The areas of the body a lot of men want hair-free are their butt and back and we agree. You can use The Lawn Mower® 4.0 to trim down the hair and then The Plow® 2.0 comes in to finish the job. Remember when you shave to have a wet surface with some extra lubricant product like a shaving gel.
You might need to ask for help for those hard-to-reach areas or you can always go the waxing route with a professional spa service. There’s a whole article here about body hair.
- Groin area
Last, but certainly not least, is the groin area. Please, men, please focus on your groin area when it comes to grooming and hygiene.
What does this mean?
Well, you have the big three:
Trim the bush.
At least weekly you should tame the hair down there. The Lawn Mower® 4.0 trimmer is easy to use and helps you get a great, even trim, even in hard-to-reach places.
Go to the bathroom, stand in front of the mirror, take off your pants and underwear, put down the Magic Mat® to capture all the hair trimmings, use the adjustable guards and trim that thing.
Check out our article specifically on trimming your pubic hair for more details as well.
Shave the Balls.
Hairy balls are just…no. Your balls already need all the help they can get, so keep 'em smooth.
When you’re in the shower, grab the Crop Cleanser® groin wash and suds it up down there, rinse and then apply our clear groin shaving gel Crop Gel™, take a hold of your Crop Shaver™ specialty ball razor, and carefully shave your balls and shaft.
The results will be amazing and we recommend doing this at least weekly.
Yes, yes, there’s a whole other article on just this topic.
Keep it hydrated and fresh down there.
After your shower, a freshly shaved pair of testicles needs to stay fresh and hydrated to avoid chafing and irritation. Make sure after a shower to dry off completely and then apply some Crop Reviver® ball toner and refresher to soothe, cool, and calm after a close shave.
Alright, men, that’s just the tip of the iceberg, but we hope that was a helpful outline to get you started in the right direction. Your team at MANSCAPED™ is standing by with a whole set of additional articles, blogs, and step-by-step guides, so just ask our trusty website search bar.
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