Tired of carrying extra body fuzz around everywhere you go? It may be winter, but that certainly doesn't mean you have to be wooly. There are plenty of ways to get rid of groin and ass hair, but before you consider extreme measures, heed our tips.
Could you use a cheese grater? Sure you could. Would we recommend it? Not even a little bit.
Could you use that cheap pink razor your girlfriend grabbed when she went to the drugstore? Of course. Would we recommend it? Absolutely not.
Could you toss a dollop of hot wax onto the hair that lives below your belt? Well, yes, you could. Would we recommend it? This one feels so...obvious. However, if you're still on the fence about whether it's okay to put hot wax around your nether region's main member, allow us to elaborate as to why genital hair trimming should always trump groin hair waxing.
Let's take a look at some of the key differences between these two hair-removal techniques:
Let's start with the biggest discerning difference between these two methods: pain.
If you're a scale-of-one-to-ten guy, hair trimming will leave you on the pleasantly low end of the spectrum, measuring in at zero until you accidentally slip and give yourself a painful nick during the process. Most of the time, nicks on your nether nooks will only happen if you're rushing through your trim-and-shave procedure. As long as you leave yourself enough time to complete the task at hand, you and your testicles should walk away unscathed.
Waxing, on the other hand, doesn't have such a positive track record. In fact, you'll more than likely find yourself far on the other side of the spectrum, where verbose screaming likely happens around a seven, but if your pain threshold isn't having it that day, you might even hit a ten.
In our humble opinion, a "ten" pain and your penis is a combination that should simply never happen. Ever.
Bear in mind that no men's waxing kit can eliminate the pain that can be caused by hot liquid hitting your sensitive spots.
Speaking of humble opinions, if you're not the kind of guy who looks forwarding to getting on all-fours with your ass crack gaping open in front of a complete stranger, we're willing to bet you're probably not an excellent candidate for waxing. Think we're kidding? Check out these brave dudes who were willing to put their sack-waxing experiences on the internet for all to see. Note: This video isn't sufficient for most workplaces, and we'd highly recommend making sure your earbuds are securely attached to your device before letting it play. Otherwise, you're likely to get some pretty interesting stares.
Manscaped's The Lawn Mower 2.0 lets you leave that embarrassment where it belongs—on the waxing table for some other dude to take on. For you, the comfort and privacy of your bathroom are all you need to eliminate below-the-belt hair. If you still want to get on all-fours to investigate your crack and crevices, we're certainly not going to stop you. Hell, you could even invite a random stranger over to witness this process, too; fortunately, these are just optional, though. If you opt for a groin wax, discomfort is an unavoidable part of the process.
If you've never tried to fit a last-minute wax session onto your favorite esthetician's calendar, it's not as easy as you might think. If she's booked out for a few weeks, you'll be stuck growing itchy hair until she can squeeze you in. Then again, getting squeezed in isn't optimal for a groin wax because—like we referenced earlier—rush jobs in the area where you get blow jobs are never a good idea. You'll want to make she's got time to fit you into a proper time slot, and if she can't get you in for a long time, you'll have a few options:
- Let the ball fuzz grow until a proper appointment is a go
- Shed another layer of humility and bare your balls to yet another stranger while you wait for a spot to open up on your girl's schedule
- Take to trimming your tree yourself (which is what you should be doing anyway, but clearly you're still not quite convinced)
When you trim your landscape on your own, you can do so in the privacy of your own bathroom whenever the mood strikes you. Looking for a little early-morning muff-be-gone? Get to it! Want to get your scrotum super soft before your big date with a sexy lady? Maybe an evening manscaping session would suit your schedule better.
The key is knowing you're not tied down by trying to fit your manscaping mission into some inconvenient time in the middle of the day. You're a busy dude. You've got work to do a life to live. A little hair in your lower region should never disrupt your day.
4. Unforeseen Circumstances
So, you're okay with the pain and you've planned your day around the possibility of not being able to sit properly for a few hours after your appointment. For some reason, you're still game to have a giant glob of hot goo dumped around your junk, so let's explore all the unintended consequences that could result from the wrong decision.
If you opt to trim your genital hair, you're not really setting yourself up for anything scary. Sure, you might accidentally take a little too much off the top and minimize your crop, but even if your pubic hair emerges with a weird shape when you're done shaving, it'll grow back soon enough, giving you the opportunity to explore different lengths and looks.
Waxing, however, does have a danger zone. Unfortunately, there's no way to prevent waxing mishaps; they'll just happen when they happen. Think the term 'scorched scrota' sounds like no fun? Well, the phrase is far more pleasant than the actual existence of said burnt body part. Alas, scorched scrota aren't completely unheard of in the ball-waxing business. Even the most experienced waxing professional can have a bad day, and if you're the guy who's on the table when things go awry, you'll also probably be the biggest advocate for any other form of body-hair removal after you heal.
Tackling Testicle Hair in a Pain-Free Way
Great! Now that you understand why waxing your underside is a bad idea, you need to know how to make the most of your manscaping process.Forego ass waxing and bad-ball syndrome in favor of these measures.
- Getting your area ready. It all begins by setting out The Magic Mat. This disposable device makes cleanup a breeze by capturing your short-and-curlies the second they detach from your body.
- Trim the excess hair. The Lawn Mower 2.0 was meant to cut coarse pubic hair down to size with its 6,000 RPM QuietStroke™ technology. Landscaping your lower region with this guy sets the stage for your favorite safety razor to hit the scene.
- Find your smoothest skin. With the major part of the hair out of the way, it's time to experience the magic of The Plow. This beauty was built to stave off itchy irritation and post-shave chafing with its high-quality, rust-proof metal and single-blade, double-edge construction. The Plow will take away the rest of your unwanted hair, leaving nothing but smooth, soft, hair-free skin that can't wait to be touched.
- Take your balls to the cleaners. Your balls have no business being dirty, especially if you just took the time to get rid of all the excess hair that could otherwise harbor sweat, bacteria, and stench. Once you've created the look you want around your wang, step in the shower and embrace the power of Crop Cleanser. The aloe and sea salt ingredients are soothing to post-shave skin that might find itself a little more sensitive than normal, so don't be shy about refreshing your royal piece with Manscaped's premier part-cleanser.
- Undo Odor Before It Begins. While you're still fresh and clean, put Crop Preserver on your below-the-deck region. This talcum-like gel promotes anti-bacterial goodness while ensuring the essential skin barrier stays healthy and happy.
- Prep before you put on pants. Spritz on a bit of Crop Reviver to stay fresh and itch-free just before your step into your boxer briefs. Your balls with thank you.
Manscaped is your one-stop shop for everything involved with de-hairing your balls. From anti-itch, no-chafe products that protect your balls after they're bare, to the equipment that's designed to take care of your, well, equipment, we've got your down-below on the top of our priority list. Your Perfect Package 2.0 is waiting for you with everything you need to enjoy a smooth, well-kept lower hemisphere. Order your Perfect Package 2.0 today! You'll never consider opting for a men's waxing kit again.