You're a human. Humans are mammals. Mammals have hair.
You see where we're going with this, right?
The mere fact that you were born as a human inherently means you more than likely have hair somewhere, even if it's only down there. Maybe you've got a full Ron Burgundy going on atop your head; perhaps Mother Nature pulled a fast one on you and forced you to put a straight razor to your strangely balding tufts of top fluff before you became the brunt of family jokes. In any case, no matter what type of hair you tout above the collar, the hair below the waist tends to linger around a lot longer. Of course, if you've let it grow rogue your entire life, you might have more of a forest than a little bush, but that's okay; we can take care of the weeds and leave you with a tree that stands tall against a well-manicured landscape.
Welcome to the world of MANSCAPED™!
MANSCAPED is the premier company built from the ground up to give guys everything they need to groom their man goods.
Here's the thing; it's not just about trimming a little hair and steering clear of any arguments you may get into with the scissors. It's about using the right tools, employing the perfect techniques, and following up with products specially formulated for freshly shaven man-skin. With this guide, you'll soon know how to take care of your, uh, junior dude.
1.) Give Yourself Plenty of Time
If you think being a few minutes late for your big date sounds like a bad idea, you'll just have to trust us that the alternative can be way worse if you decide to do a rush job on your junk. Sharp metal objects and a clock that doesn't have enough time on it never play well together, particularly when you're talking about your private parts.
Male grooming—like a fine wine—is meant to be enjoyed one moment at a time. Take a breath, settle in, and get ready to realize the joys of a well-groomed groin.
2.) Get Your Area Ready
Make sure you're using tools that are specifically intended for this task. Should meat scissors also be used around your meat? Nope. Is it okay to use your girlfriend's pink leg-shaving razor to get your groin area right? We'll let you answer that question for yourself. Your down-under area deserves tools that were designed to do right by it. If you're using stuff that's doing double-duty on your junk and other areas of your body (or home), you could be bringing bacteria on the blades that'll spell bad results if it gets into your skin.
Gather all your goods before you get going with ease. The process involves pre-shower prep, in-the-shower cleansing, and after-shower finishing touches.
Don't let the hair start falling until you've laid down the Magic Mat™ shaving mat. This easy-clean-up creation keeps everything in one place, so you're not still sweeping up short-and-curlies from this trim session three weeks from now. Simply place it in the space directly between your spread-out-feet, and the mat will take care of its task from there.
3.) Give Everything a Quick Rub Down
Not like that...
We mean you should make sure everything you're using and touching has had a quick cleaning. Wash your hands thoroughly with soap and water and give your junk a quick wipe down, too. You'll want to take a shower after you've gotten your hair the way you want it, but for now, it's just important to give yourself a clean surface to work on.
We'll just assume you'll be cleaning your tools properly after each grooming session, but it's always a good idea to do a quick touch-up with rubbing alcohol before you begin to ensure there's nothing gross on your tools that you don't want near your groin.
4.) Lay the Groundwork
Even if you plan on going completely hair-free and leaving your balls as smooth as a baby's bottom at the end of this excursion, you've got to lay the groundwork first. A great trimmer is your go-to tool before you touch any other element in your arsenal.
The Lawn Mower™ 4.0 trimmer will take your lush bush from overgrowth to management mane with its 7,000 RPM motor that was specially designed to devour thick, coarse down-there hair. Trimming is also an essential step to ensuring you're not setting yourself up for a crotch covered with ingrown pubes.
5.) Lather Up
Now, it's time to get sudsy, our studly friends. You've been waiting all day to get hot and wet, and your time has finally arrived. Hop in the shower and lather your body down with Crop Cleanser™. This refreshing body wash is perfect anytime, but it's particularly great post-shave. The soothing sea salt and aloe will calm your recently exposed sensitive skin, while the natural hydration ensures you're not left with an uncomfortable itch that could happen if your man parts don't get enough moisture.
Crop Cleanser is the perfect all-in-one shower accessories. Use it to clean the crevices between your balls. Get the gross go out of the hair you wear on the top of your head. Remove the odor that resides beneath your armpits. This cleanser's got you covered.
6.) Put Protections on Your Parts
Speaking of avoiding uncomfortable itching, it's important to finalize your male grooming session with an anti-chafing, anti-bacterial weapon that'll protect your lower region. Crop Preserver™, our incredible all-in-one ball deodorizer, and moisturizer is a must-use any time you groom.
Wait! Don't toss on your boxers just yet. Before you head out, spritz on Crop Reviver™. This refreshing toner is the finishing touch to your man-part masterpiece. Thanks to the witch hazel extract and soothing aloe ingredients, your high-friction area will be protected by a barrier of anti-burn awesomeness that's not about to let unpleasant situations happen after you're de-haired.
You're here for a reason. You're ready to learn how to trim your below-the-waist tresses the right way, and we're ready to set you up for success. All it takes is a few quick clicks of your mouse to have the world's best grooming goods delivered right to your doorstep. What are you waiting for?