The Gentleman's Guide to Trimming Your Ear Hair
The modern man doesn’t always have it easy. Sure, there are a lot of benefits to living in this day and age, but it comes with new expectations too. As a gentleman, you’re supposed to be clean, well-groomed, and educated. It’s a lot to manage. What’s crazy is that overlooking one tiny thing can completely destroy your image and leave you frustrated and alone at night. Well, help is available. One thing you’re never going to miss again is the gross hair in your ears. You’re going to learn how to take care of that right now. You’ll probably sleep better at night, too.
It’s All about Reduction
Manscaping comes in many shapes and sizes, but there are some general rules that can help guys master new areas and techniques. Perhaps the most universal truth of all is that you don’t want to be completely hairless. Apply the idea to your genitals for a second. Sure, hairless balls can feel good, and a lot of women like that, but if you completely shave every inch of your body below the belt, you’re going to look like an alien. It’s probably been a while, but do you remember The Matrix? Remember when Keanu Reeves first wakes up and is completely hairless? If he couldn’t pull it off in his prime, you can’t pull it off now.
This philosophy can apply to specific points of manscaping. With your ears, the reason to leave some of the hair there is a little different. After all, the rule of thumb is that other people shouldn’t see your ear hair. Ever. That still doesn’t mean you want perfectly smooth inner ears. The hair there serves important functions, and if your grooming goes overboard, it can actually make a noticeable difference.
The first thing to consider is that ear hair serves to keep things out of your ears. No, shaving doesn’t mean you’re going to end up with bugs laying eggs inside of you, but you might find allergies or irritation peak if you trim too much. Even shortened ear hairs can still protect you in this function.
The other primary purpose of hair in your ears is to heighten sensitivity. The hair you can shave doesn’t have much impact on hearing directly, but it does help your skin detect subtle changes. Excessive grooming can actually cause small shifts in your sense of balance (in extreme cases), and it can make your ears feel extra weird when you change altitude (like on a flight). None of these things are going to ruin your life, but they’re worth remembering if you’re interested in maximum comfort.
All of this brings us to a clear, easy point: you want to trim the hairs and not completely remove them.
Having a goal for how to trim your ears is great, but it won’t get the job done. This is a gentleman’s guide, so you need to learn the specifics. We’re going to cover the three most common methods of dealing with unsightly tufts of fur in your ears. Some of them might seem contradictory to what you just learned, so keep that in mind.
Many guys are surprised to learn that professional ear waxing exists. Technically, DIY ear waxing exists too, but it’s extremely dangerous. It’s no exaggeration to suggest that you could go deaf if you don’t know what you’re doing. If you’re going this route, leave to the experts.
Ear waxing comes with a few pros and cons. On the plus side, it removes the hair by the root, so you don’t have to maintain your grooming as frequently. It’s also pretty quick and easy. You can add it on to a more inclusive appointment for little investment (of both time and money).
The cons are worth noting. Ear waxing does hurt. It’s not the most painful wax on the menu, but your ears are sensitive. Worse, if you have a reaction to the process, it can leave your ears feeling clogged for up to a few days. It also leaves you completely bald where the wax goes. Usually a pro waxing job won’t go too deep, so you’ll have some hair, but it’s still not perfectly optimized to prevent the problems you read about in the first section. That said, you might find that waxing leaves you with no side-effects at all. If so, it might be your preferred method.
Ear hair can be gross, but there isn’t actually that much of it. Plucking is a reasonable approach to solving the problem. Like waxing, this concept kills hair at the root and gives you more time between sessions. It’s also less painful than waxing (although not necessarily pain-free). Best of all, you have complete control over how much hair is removed.
The major con to plucking is that it’s tricky. You’ll probably have to pluck one of your ears with your non-dominant hand. Just thinking about it is awkward. That said, if you can master the skill, you’ll have a great way to stay on top of ear hair.
Since plucking is typically DIY, here are some tips. First, you’re going to need multiple mirrors. You might be able to do this with two, but three may be the ticket. Once you tinker the mirrors into the right arrangement, you want to take your time. Plucking multiple hairs at once hurts a lot more, and it causes more irritation to the skin. This is a one-at-a-time thing. The patience is worth it. Also, you want to use blunted or rounded tweezers. Sharp tweezers can cause terrible mishaps with a single slip. You don’t want hearing damage.
This last bit of advice holds true whether you’re plucking your ear hair or doing anything else in your life. Your inner ear is delicate, and damage is usually permanent. There is no reason to take any risks. Growing up, your doctor told you never to stick anything in your ear that is smaller than your elbow. Since you’re going to break this rule, you need to be careful. You’re not trying to get deep into your ears. You’re only worried about hair that is clearly visible to other people.
There are multiple ways to trim ear hair. We’ll break that down in a minute, but for now, we can compare the pros and cons of trimming in general. The pros are that trimming is the fastest and most painless way to groom your ears. It’s also pretty cheap. You just need to invest in your tool once and you’re good to go. Better yet, trimming leaves enough hair behind that you’re still getting the natural benefits.
The only con to trimming is that you have to do it more often. When you weigh that against how easy it is, most guys still feel that trimming is the clear winner.
On that chance that you’re inclined to agree, let’s discuss the two common ways to go about trimming your ear hair.
You use scissors on your nose hair. Why not your ears? That philosophy is enough for plenty of guys, and it works fine. Here’s your first rule: get the right tool. If you don’t want to use sharp tweezers for plucking, you definitely don’t want pointed scissors for trimming. They make scissors for this specific purpose, and they’re super cheap. Invest.
Also like plucking, you’re going to need multiple mirrors to get this job done. So, take your time and get used to the process. After you’ve completed a few sessions, you’ll get a feel for it and it won’t take long at all.
Using an Electric Trimmer
Everything until now was superfluous. You should get an electric trimmer with an attachment specifically designed for your ears. It will keep you from putting anything to deep into them. It’s also blazingly fast and completely painless. Rare is the man who tries an electric trimmer and ever goes back.
Here are the steps to using your electric trimmer. Turn it on. Stick it in your ear. You’re done.
Congratulations. You just learned more than you bargained about trimming your ear hair. You’ve graduated this gentleman’s class. What did you learn? There are a lot of ways to get rid of hair. When it comes to your ears, one way is very clearly better than the rest. Now none of you have an excuse to sport werewolf ears ever again.