Your pubic hair's been with you for a long time—probably decades. You've been through a lot together, your pubic hair and you, but as the saying goes, sometimes you've just got to let go if you want to be the best person you can be. Where pubic hair is concerned, this statement rings true. You see, gentlemen, men's grooming has come a long way in the past few years. It's no longer just about swiping a stick of deodorant across your pits and calling it good; it's about taking the time to make sure your body's in good working order, from top to bottom (and below those briefs of yours).
Male grooming has taken a whole different turn, becoming something that's just as important for your partners and the people around you as it is for your well-being. After all, smelly crotches affect everyone. Don't be that guy. If you're wondering how to groom your groin, we've got some tips.
1) Trimming makes your junk look bigger
A big bush immediately makes your tree look smaller, even when it's standing tall and at attention. Trimming obviously can't make your junk bigger, but it can certainly look bigger when you remove unnecessary distractions around the roots.
Why would you want to show your guy in a negative light? Do yourself a favor and trim the landscape around your little man. You'll feel more confident and ready to go when you find yourself in sexy situations. The Lawn Mower 4.0 is the perfect device to trim your hedges without worrying about nicks, pulls, and uncomfortable circumstances.
2) Trimming is more hygienic
Think about it—your balls are kept under a cover for most of their lives. It gets hot and sweaty down there. While sweat isn't exactly the cause of swamp crotch, it's a contributing factor. When you sweat, the fluid interacts with the oils on your skin, producing bacteria that like to cling to pubic hair. The longer your hair is down there, the more susceptible you are to emitting odor.
Keeping your short and curlies, well, short, will help keep bad bacteria at bay because it won't have a huge playground to frolic on. Of course, it's also important to keep your crop clean with a
body wash that's formulated with cleaning-yet-soothing ingredients such as aloe and sea salt. Crop Cleanser™ hair and body wash will take care of the gross stuff you accumulate around your junk so you can feel calm, cool, and collected in any situation.
3) Trimming doesn't cause itchy irritation
You don't have to go with bald balls if you don't want to. Trimming is simply the act of keeping your bush from growing into a zip code of its own. You don't walk into a business meeting with a beard flapping in the wind; you keep your facial hair trimmed and clean, even if you do sport longer hair on your chin. Why? Because it's the right thing to do.
The same rules apply to your nether region.
Trimming your pelvic area means keeping your crop at a manageable level using male grooming tools that are specifically designed to keep your southern hemisphere tidy.
4) Trimmed pubes won't get stuck in your zipper
Laugh if you will, but there are plenty of men who can attest to the painful pulling that happens when an overgrown crotch finds its way into the teeth of an angry zipper.
Rogue pubic hair is begging for the torture of the worst kind. When you least expect it, it'll crawl into the mouth of a steel trap that's just waiting to show you what pain feels like.
To avoid overgrown madness, stop the insanity before it starts. The Lawn Mower 4.0's ceramic blades will give you a quick, even trim that'll keep you out of the hands of disaster.
5) Trimming reduces the chance of pubic lice
Okay, this isn't a thing anybody wants to talk about, but it's real. Pubic lice like to set up camp in the coarse hair beneath your pants. When you reduce the amount of hair you sport down there, you'll decrease the places where those little guys can play.
(Obviously, there are other ways to stay away from creepy crawlers in your crotch, like vetting your partners before things get hot and heavy, but sometimes things happen.)
6) Nobody likes unexpected floss in their teeth
That's right, fellas. A real gentleman will consider his partner's needs. If your bush is long and lush, it's a no-go for the man or woman who might otherwise be interested in giving you some oral attention. Nobody wants to have their teeth cleaned with the leftover remnants of an unkempt crotch area. Even if your partner isn't immediately turned off by your '70s-style situation down under, you'll soon learn how important trimming is if that person stops mid-session because your long hairs are wrecking the party.
7) Trimmed pubes make sex better for you
You've thought about your partner, and now you know how nice it is for you to keep your crop trimmed when oral encounters are in the midst. But what about you? It's your junk, after all. Shouldn't you get something out of it?
Yes, indeed, you should.
Trimming your pubes enables you to have more sensitivity because your parts aren't protected by a fur barrier that would otherwise lessen the sensation, orally or otherwise. At best, long pubes cause mild desensitization that can minimize your overall experience. At worst, they cause itching, burning, and irritation, which obviously can make an awesome night go bad pretty quickly.
Trimming is a win-win situation. Do it for your partner. Do it for you. Do it for all of mankind.
8) You'll stay cooler
Summer is upon us, and that means hot days and fun in the sun. It also means extraordinary temperatures where your legs come together. Think hair doesn't have much to do with your body heat?
Look at it this way: you wouldn't wear a wooly sweater while you're walking on the beach in August, would you? It wouldn't make any sense. The extra layer of fur would make you hotter than you need to be—and way toastier than what most people would deem comfortable.
Your balls can't tell you how they're feeling, so you'll have to speak on their behalf. Take good care of them by trimming back the extra layer of insulation that can cause unwarranted heat and sweat below the waist. Your nuts will thank you.
9) You'll feel more confident
A well-kept man is a confident man. If you've been trying to figure out how to groom your groin, heed our advice.
You might have heard that women often wear super sexy lingerie during big business meetings. It's not because anybody will see their lace bras and panties; it's because it makes them feel stronger and sexier. It's simple psychology; the more time you spend on yourself, the better you'll feel, even if nobody sees the efforts you put into making yourself stand up a little taller.
So, chest out, guys. Once you've trimmed your balls, rub on a little below-the-deck ball deodorant known as the Crop Preserver™ and spritz on some Crop Reviver™ spray, which will help keep inflammation at irritation at bay. Grab your day by the balls, our friends. You've got this.