Valentine’s Day is around the corner and we’re betting a lot of guys are thinking about their next big intimate moment (or moments). Whether this means you are more at the first base level in a relationship or expecting to go all the way home, it’s probably worth thinking about grooming a little more.
Maybe you’re going out on Valentine’s with friends or you’re taking out your wife of 25 years, but it doesn’t matter: If we’re talking about your spouse, your three-month relationship, someone you’re just dating for fun, a theoretical hook-up, your friends or your family—everybody appreciates it when the parts of our bodies are groomed. And we’re not just talking about your bits smelling good; everybody also appreciates when the parts of our bodies that sprout hair are addressed.
Not to mention that grooming oneself is just self-care 101. Don’t make us worry about you.
Time for questions
A lot of us are working from home right now or just not leaving home as much as we did, so odds are you’ve let that facial hair get a little unruly. And, we know it’s not just the facial hair; other hair areas need attention, too.
We’re going to run through a series of questions to help you put this into perspective:
- When’s the last time you shaved or trimmed your beard?
- If you’re a man who likes facial hair, when’s the last time you gave that beautiful stash of yours some attention?
- Can you see nose hairs popping out of your nozzle?
- Is that bush of yours down below a little too bushy? Like scary bushy?
- How often are you showering?
- What are you using to clean yourself? (Seriously, water does not do the trick on its own.)
- Are you chappy or chaffy anywhere?
- And don’t forget the balls. How are the balls? Did you shave the bush and not the balls? Sigh…
While Valentine’s Day is a great excuse to put some time and effort into personal grooming, it is our duty to remind you that MANSCAPED™ really does have you covered throughout the year. It’s like we want to be here for you all the time, but now is as good of a time to start as any.
A man’s body has a lot of hair
And just to help you out a little more, when we say pay attention to grooming we are going to do you a solid in this section. Not only are we going to give you a list of things to pay attention to, but we’ve got a package or product that’s perfect for the job.
Before you dive in, we know not all of you want to or need to address all of the areas listed, but if nothing else, just think about it. It’s Valentine’s Day—spice things up! Surprise people! Take care of yourself! You’re welcome.
Ok, so the list below should be all the hairy things that one has relatively easy access to:
- Your beard
- Your mustache
- A goatee
- Ear hair
- Nose hair
- The bush
- Groin hair
- Ball sack hair
- Chest hair
- Arm hair
- Leg hair
- Foot/toe hair
- Armpit hair
- Stomach hair
For all things hairy, The Performance Package 4.0 is really where you should start. It includes two of our most popular trimmers and a set of products that will really round out your grooming routine:
- The Lawn Mower® 4.0 which is our body and groin hair electric trimmer with all the accessories.
- The Weed Whacker® which is our extremely thorough ear and nose hair trimmer designed for minimal sneezing and itching.
- Crop Preserver® which is our patented anti-chafing ball deodorant (and it smells so nice).
- Crop Reviver® which is our spray to keep your boys happy after a shave (and it also smells so nice).
With The Performance Package 4.0, we even throw in our Magic Mat™ for you to stand on while all this trimming is going on. Then when you’re done, ball it up and throw it away. Please do not leave a bunch of facial hair and your pubes on your bathroom floor. You’re better than that.
Note: If you have anything listed above already and do not need a full package, everything is sold individually as well. We just want to give you a starting point.
In the world of men, there is also back hair and butt hair. While we know some of you have special twisting skills, for most of you, those two areas are not as easily accessible. We do want to point out that (1) it’s ok to ask for help if you have the grooming tools for the job, but (2) there are professional services that you can pay for and someone can wax those puppies.
And no, we did not forget the smelly goodness needs or the issue of chappiness. Just check out the Ultra Premium™ Collection. It’s got everything you need if you’re missing anything, but each of these items can also be purchased individually. Just need some body wash? Our Ultra Premium™ Body Wash is awesome.
And if all of this is not enough to convince you, with most of our packages we are also throwing in some bonus gifts because we love you and want you to be happy.
We also think you should check out our Peak Hygiene Plan and Replenishment Plan options for essentials like deodorant and replacement blades, so you never need to worry about things running out. We try so hard.
Happy freakin’ Valentine’s Day, gents!
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