Have you ever been on the latter part of a long day and noticed something didn't smell quite right? You couldn't exactly place it, but there was funk in the air. Without being told, you knew the problem. The elusive smell was coming from you, and you could tell because it was so hard to place.
Unfortunately, that's precisely the moment when everyone else can smell you so strongly that it makes their eyes water. It's a nightmare scenario for any guy who values social capital. No one wants to be the guy who stinks. Unfortunately, there are times when this gets even the best of us. We need a way to fight back — to overcome nature itself. It is for that reason that MANSCAPED™ has produced the Crop Care Kit.
Look. Being a guy can come with some smelly side-effects. We're physical creatures, and that physicality can lead to sweat. Sweat then leads to body odor. We're supposed to still be amazing men, but we're not allowed to smell like it in the modern age. Whether or not that's fair, the expectations are there, and you don't want your natural aroma to hold you back in life.
The Crop Care Kit is intended to streamline hygiene. Everything in the kit is carefully made to help you combat the worst smells you might produce. Some are for regular maintenance. Other items are to save you on a rough day. Regardless, the kit in its entirety should be enough to keep you from being the butt of a bunch of social distancing jokes.
Crop Care Contents
A kit is only as good as its components. There are five different items in the Crop Care Kit. You'll find a body wash, ball deodorant, a refreshing lower body spray, clean wipes, and foot deodorant. Combined, they produce a thorough package that will keep you fresh no matter what.
Crop Cleanser body wash is science's answer to the sweaty musk that has long plagued mankind. It's an all-in-one cleanser. It's good on every inch of your body, including your hair. Use it when you shower. It will make you smell great. It's amazing for your skin. It can help rehydrate you after a day in the sun. It's the cornerstone of great hygiene, and it's designed to simplify showering, which is why we created the Crop Cleanser body wash.
Crop Preserver ball deodorant might be the best thing to ever happen to your balls. It's a deodorant designed specifically for the nether regions. That means it can handle the overbearing stench that men are so adept at producing, but it isn't harsh at all. If you put regular deodorant on your manhood, you'd probably have tears of misery for a while. Crop Preserver ball deodorant instead feels cool and smooth. It reduces friction, helps you maintain a healthy level of moisture, and just plain feels good. Once you try it, you'll never go back.
Crop Reviver ball toner is a gentle spray that can help you beat the stench on a, particularly sweaty day. It's also designed to help guys who participate in that ritual known as male grooming. The process of cutting and trimming hair can be hard on the body. If you want to know why we created the Crop Reviver ball toner, it's because it soothes any harshness, so you don't have to feel punished for looking your best below the waist.
The Crop Mop ball wipes are your emergency tool. If you need to be presentable and don't have time for a shower or change of clothes, this handy device can save the day. It's a little wet wipe for your nether regions. It smells amazing, and it helps get rid of sweaty residue and general grossness in the lower areas. It's small enough to fit in your wallet; you can always have an emergency ration of hygiene.
With all of this care for your balls, it would be remiss of us to exclude the other extremely smelly part of male anatomy: the feet. Foot Duster foot deodorant takes the concept of Crop Preserver ball deodorant and re-engineers it for feet. It will help keep them cool and comfortable, and it will battle even the most powerful foot odors.
That concludes your introduction to the Crop Care Kit. If you want other invaluable resources for modern manhood, check in with Manscaped.com. It's the only place you need to find every tool in the book, along with the knowledge to wield each with mastery.