Why Do Men Shave Their Chest Hair?
Once upon a time, woolly mammoths roamed the landscape, devouring everything edible and leaving huge piles of dung along the way. In the '70s and '80s, the wildebeest otherwise known as the human male took up the occupation of this now-extinct creature, imparting its voracious appetite and setting down a solid trail of gassy residuals at every opportunity. Of course, this pre-millennium man also sported one more feature that was distinctly shared with its prehistoric predecessor: an abundance of body fur that covered the body like a cashmere sweater.
The Disco Days were characterized by unbuttoned shirts and fluffy chest hairs abound. Everywhere people looked, chest tresses filled the social scene. It was not only considered completely acceptable to flaunt one's below-the-neck body fur; it was considered unacceptable not to. Women flocked to fur-covered men. Men fawned over other the forests of other males' torsos. The world was filled with free love, a lot of LSD, and an outrageous abundance of fuzzy physiques.
The Evolution of the Hair-Free Male Human Being
Shortly after bell bottom blues were traded for bootcut denim and slightly creepy porn 'stasches were superseded by smooth upper lips, the rest of the hair-free revolution followed. Males everywhere began to reach for their razors, ushering in an era of smooth skin and perfectly groomed pecs.
While the '90s were a bit of a fashion cluster for both genders, the new millennium ensured shaving is here to stay. People found a balance between tress-covered chests and razor-inspired skin rashes. Products got better. Fashions settled into more reasonable expectations. The world relaxed while gaining some hair-free class. This was a new era. This was the evolution of the hair-free male human being.
Why Men Shave Their Chest Hair
The evolution of removing hair down there became the evolution of removing hair everywhere. Today you'll see shaven chests on every shoreline in America. You'll spot smooth landscapes from the nipples to the navel in men's locker rooms from coast to coast. You'll see silk sheet companies beckoning to the sexy bedroom behaviors that are ready to be enjoyed when bare skin gets the chance to romp on top of exquisite fabrics.
Of course, shaving is a personal decision, and every guy's got his reasons. Here are a few answers we got when we polled the fellas in our audience:
1. To Show Tattoos
A furry chest is an unfortunate mishap if you've got beautiful artwork resting on your breastplate. If you've gone through the trouble, pain, and expense of having an artist ink your chest with a memorable (permanent) memento, it doesn't make sense to cover it up.
Men who sport body art typically remove the hair that would otherwise impede their pieces.
2. To Achieve Male Celebrity Status
Plenty of silver screen studs and A-list athletes have intentionally foregone chest follicles in favor of showcasing their washboard abs and sexy silhouettes. In case you're wondering if it works, ask yourself if David Beckham's ever had any problems finding a female fan club.
Chiseled bodies just don't get justice unless they're able to be presented without interruption.
3. To Be Vain
Women have had the privilege of being able to primp to their hearts' content for decades without fear of reprisal from the general public, but men haven't always had that option, less they face the possibility of being called some potentially derogatory terms in the face of putting their best faces forward.
Metrosexuality and manscaping have become standard processes for men who want to feel as sexy as the fairer sex.
4. To Look Younger
There comes a point in everyone's life when hair starts to grow from places it was never spotted before. This is true for women and men alike. For fellas who've always proudly put smooth pecs out to the world without forcing their skin to undergo unnecessary extra steps in the bathroom, their thirties, forties, and fifties can bring a real reckoning with the razor.
Men who feel chest hair ages them beyond their years almost assuredly reach for the skin-smoothing tools that take unwanted hair out of the situation.
5. To Gain Confidence
Feeling down in the dumps is all good for nobody. Confident people—both men and women—look their best on the surface, but they also do a bit of work beneath the outer layer that everyday people get to see.
It's no secret that successful women have a habit of donning only the sexiest lingerie beneath their power suits. Men may not focus their time on finding beautiful bras, but that doesn't mean masculine chests don't deserve a place in the powerhouse hall of fame. You might be surprised about how many C-suite men find the first confidence of the day when they get their chest hair out of the way.
6. To Attract Partners
Let's be honest—partners who like to prowl around the skin of their other person, particularly with their tongues, may find themselves wishing for smoother surfaces if hair dominates the skin-laden landscape of foreplay. Rest assured, it doesn't always have to be this way.
The right razor will remove unpleasant tufts of hair, leaving a neatly plowed love lane that'll lead your soon-to-be lover from first glance to gleeful romp in the sack without worry of tongue splinters or awkward hairballs.
How Real Men Undo Hairy Situations
In life, stuff happens. So does chest hair. If you're ready to eliminate this natural disaster from your life, you need to arm yourself with an arsenal of tools that'll take the tufts away without inflicting injury or unnecessary irritation. Here's how real men make their chest hairs star in magical disappearing acts:
- Lay Down the Mat. The MANSCAPED™ Magic Mat™ is the place where the magic begins. Forego unfavorable cleaning situations by eliminating work before it begins. The Magic Mat collects falling follicles from every inch of your body. From shoulders and back to chest and balls, we've got you covered.
- Trim Those Chest Tresses. Before you start weed whacking your upper body, you've got to put some parameters into place. The Lawn Mower™ 2.0 trimmer was designed to do its due diligence on every square inch of man-skin surfaces. It provides the first step toward a baby-smooth landscape between the shoulders.
- Shower Your Strays Away. Trimming is just the first step to getting the hair to go away. Once you've subscribed to the idea of making it shorter, you've probably got quite a few hairs hanging out loosely on your body. That's when a hot shower and Crop Cleanser™ come into the picture. Thanks to the pH-balanced formula and overall invigorating ingredients that leave freshly shaved skin feeling clean, moisturized, and ready to battle the day (or night) ahead.
- Protect Your Skin from Scary Razor Burns. Burns be damned. Today's manscaped man can take his smoothly shaven skin from head to toe with the right tools and a little bit of witch hazel to calm sensitive skin and keep irritations at bay. Choose a product like Crop Preserver™ ball deodorant to put the bounce in your step and protect the sensitive skin on your chest. Anything that's good enough for your nuts is certainly good enough for the space between your nipples!
Are you a man of today's era, or are you stuck in a time warp that's not doing anything for your social credibility? If your body's full of full (or worse, you're flat-out wearing a natural sweater situation), it's time to trim away those rogue chest hairs. Maybe you shave it down to the bare soft skin, or maybe you just get rid of the garden of overgrowth that scares women away when it crawls from its hiding spot beneath your buttons. The choice is yours, but the quality of tools you choose is not up for discussion.
Be a real man. Be a MANSCAPED man.