Best Clippers For Manscaping Men’s Balls
Ok gents. Today we are going to talk about the most important thing in your life: your balls. They do so much for you; maybe it’s time to give a little back. If you’re in the minority of fellas who have never experienced the pleasure of properly groomed balls, you’re in for a treat. If you’re a normal man who is well into the experimentation phase of manscaping, then this conversation will help you up your game. With all of this in mind, we’re going to discuss the most important component of manscaping your sack: clippers. Some guys like a clean shave. Others prefer a simple trim. In either case, you need good clippers to get the job done safely and with precision.
What’s in a Shear?
Your manscaping shears need to be able to do a lot of things. You want to be able to manage pubes, taint and butt with a single device. Most guys don’t realize how different those jobs are until they get serious about their manscaping, but it places a diverse demand on your most important tool -- well, second most important. That said, today’s focus is on the balls. You can catch us discussing other aspects of manscaping and what you need in your tools in different posts, but today is all about the boys.
Obviously, the very most important design element in a set of clippers is safety. And, this is a bigger topic than you might realize. For starters, you want a good safety guard to keep a little space between the high-RPM shears and your delicate testicular flesh. That goes without saying. But, you probably haven’t considered heat dissipation. Some clippers get after it in pure cutting power, and that produces a lot of heat. Rubber, silicone or otherwise heat-resistant guards are your friend.
Another safety consideration is waterproofing. You may not ever plan to use your clippers in the shower, but you’ll likely handle them in a bathroom. Exposure to water is an inevitability (especially if you have hot clippers making your balls sweat). And, in case you’ve never learned basic health safety, electrical discharges to the testicles is a great way to become sterile. We know, some of your eyes light up at that thought, but accidental sterility is no joke. Be safe and use waterproof clippers.
You probably also underestimate the importance of sharp blades. Any professional chef will tell you the first safety rule in a kitchen is to keep the knives sharp. This also applies to manscaping. Dull blades pull and snag, and they contribute to more mistakes and injuries than anything else. Strong, stainless steel blades hold their edge better than cheap alternatives, so you want to invest in something that won’t grow dull. Pair that with regular cleaning, and your clippers will be safely sharp for a long time.
Here’s something else you’re overlooking: power cords. Now, we don’t want to undersell professional engineers. Clipper cords are usually well-protected, but no matter how good the engineers are, they represent another variable that can cause problems. The threat of a power cord isn’t electrical or choking (you’re not a three year old), but they do get tangled. This isn’t going to get you killed, but tangled cords can create tension that makes it a little harder to manage your clippers. In most cases, it’ll hurt your precision and your manscaping will suffer aesthetically. In some instances, a tangled cord can help you nick and cut your balls. Replacing or recharging batteries might seem annoying, but itchy scabs on your sack are worse.
That brings us to the final safety consideration: ergonomics. A tangled cord isn’t the only way to let the clippers get away from you. When you’re shopping, look for something with a no-slick grip and a good shape that optimizes your control. When you do your homework, you’ll find that all of these design elements and more can be found in The Lawn Mower. It has a name that evokes amusing imagery, but you can rest assured that it is a state-of-the-art device that gives you the best manscaping experience you can find.
Using Your Tool
Get your mind out of the gutter. This section isn’t advice on self-love. Although, if you take these tips to heart, you might find improvement in your love life. Having a great set of clippers is only step one. You have to know how to use them to good effect. Otherwise, you’re that guy stalling in traffic with his Ferrari. No one likes that guy.
The first lesson in using your clippers is to understand the guard. It’s more than just a safety feature. You can adjust it to different lengths, and that’s important. Did your mom ever decide she was going to handle your haircuts when you were little? Do you remember having to learn the different numbers for the plastic attachments to try and get the length right? The guard on your ball trimmers is a similar story. Figuring out the optimal length will probably require a bit of trial and error.
Here’s the truly important nugget of truth in all of this. Start at the longest setting. You can always change your mind and go a little shorter, but once you go too far, your course pubes are going to turn into super stubble. You might think it’s cute to rub your chin stubble on your lady’s face, but it’s unpleasant. Multiply that by the sensitivity of your balls, and you can understand why you want to exercise some discretion here.
Now, we’re not going to get into advanced trimming techniques. The method is simple. Hold your Lawn Mower comfortably. Use your free hand to manage your junk, and pull loose skin taut as needed. This isn’t rocket science. The important tips are as follows: Trimming is best done before a shower. That makes cleanup a lot easier, and it’s better for your skin. Also, don’t forget your Magic Mat. When you trim standing over the mat, you’ll find it is great as catching the clippings and cleanup is a breeze. Lastly, and this one should be painfully obvious, always trim before shaving. It’s fine if you want some smooth, bare skin, but trying to use a razor on untamed bush is a recipe for disaster.
If you follow the simple tips, you’ll have a pristinely cropped manscape every time. But, that isn’t the whole story. If you just trim, shave and shower, you’ll find that your sensitive skin is regularly irritated and bumpy. What’s the point of having a beautifully trimmed lawn if the ground underneath is a mess? With that in mind, there are three additional steps you need to take after every manscaping session.
First, shower properly. You might be in a hurry, but it’s important that you take the time to scrub and exfoliate the skin after abusing it with clippers and razors. The Crop Cleanser has a hydrating formula that will help with this process, but a warm shower and gentle scrubbing are necessary to really make it work.
Second, you need to apply ball deodorant. There are enough reasons for this that we could make an equally long post just about the deodorant, but these are the cliff’s notes. Even though manscaping will reduce smelliness, your balls stink. In fact, they stink much worse than your pits. If you’re willing to put deodorant under your arms, treating your balls should be a no-brainer. But! Don’t use regular deodorant. It. Will. Burn. Instead, grab some Crop Preserver. It’ll handle the smell, and the talcum formula will make you feel great downstairs. It minimizes sweating and reduces friction. Give it one try and you’ll never go back.
Third, you need to restore the protective layers of your skin. We actually have to talk about this a lot with men who are new to manscaping. Shaving is important, but it literally scrapes away your natural protective barrier. Following your deodorant with a modest application of Crop Reviver solves this problem. It’s a formula specifically designed to restore your natural protection, and it is the final key to keeping your manscaping sessions healthy.
Well, we talked a lot about your balls today. Don’t let that be the only attention they get all week. If you’re curious about anything to do with manscaping, you can find the answer to virtually any question at Manscaped.com. We’ve spared no effort in cultivating it as the ultimate resource. Use it liberally. Lastly, if you’re wondering where you can find all of these wonderful products we mentioned, they’re all included in the Perfect Package. It’s the only purchase you truly need if you want to have a proper manscaping tool kit.