How to Properly Groom Your Taint and Why
We get it, manscaping can easily turn into an addiction. Once you realize how smooth and attractive your newly-shaved package looks, you’ll eventually want the rest of your privates to be on the same level. After all, a $1,000 tuxedo that only looks good from the front isn’t worth $1,000.
Why spend all of the time and effort keeping your pubes shaved, but not touching your taint and butt hair? If you’re going to do it, you may as well go all-out and shave everything.
Today, we’re going to be talking about how to properly groom your taint and why you should be doing it. If you’re not a fan of awkward situations, compromising comments, and polished balls, then you should probably stop reading right now.
However, if you want to take your personal grooming to the next level and achieve true Nirvana, then you should most definitely keep reading.
What Is A Taint Anyways?
Before we get into all of the reasons to groom your taint, it might help if you actually knew what a taint was to begin with. Sometimes called a “goochie,” and sometimes a “grundle,” the taint is the area between the back of your balls leading up to your anus.
The scientific term for this area is the perineum. Both men and women have them, and it serves as a tender, fleshy barrier that separates your number one functions from your number two functions.
The real reason we’re talking about the place where the sun don’t shine, however, is that this area is notorious for being incredibly hairy. If you thought your balls were bad, wait till you look a little farther back. Unless you’re one of those hairless anomalies, you’re going to be facing what would seem to be quite the challenge.
Don’t worry. We’ll be giving you step-by-step instructions for how to groom this hard to reach part of your body shortly.
Reasons To Groom Your Taint
So, before you spend a bunch of time learning how to groom you taint, you’ll probably want a few reasons as to why you should go through the trouble in the first place. Lucky for you, it just so happens that we have more than enough reasons that we can list off of the top of our head.
You’re Already Down There
The simplest reason to groom your taint is that you’re already down there. If you’ve already got all of your shaving razors, creams, and towels out, you may as well just spend an extra few minutes and shave everything while you’re at it. Sure, it’ll require a little bit of awkward positioning, but the end result will be well worth your time.
It Looks Very Clean And Makes A Statement
Your hygiene and overall cleanliness is a very powerful factor when it comes to the first impression that you leave on people. If you show up to a job interview with bad breath, you’re a lot less likely to get the job than the other guy who has half your talent but does have the minty-fresh breath.
Apply this to a sexual situation. If your new partner goes down and sees a completely groomed, polished set of jewels and taint, she’ll know that you’re not only a clean person, but that you possess a great deal of self respect and personal pride. Both of these are great traits to exemplify.
The simple, unspoken statement that you care about your body enough to maintain good grooming habits and impeccable hygiene are enough to make any woman respect what you you have down there.
Cuts Back On Odor
Another great reason to groom your taint is that it cuts down on body odor. Let’s face it, the only place that’s dirtier than your taint is the little hole that’s 2-inches above it. After a day of activity, there’s really no telling what could be stuck in your taint. Even if you shower twice a day, there is still plenty of time for the thick hairs of your taint to catch some unwanted debris.
By keeping your taint well-groomed and trimmed down, you’ll be cutting down on genital odor by about 50%. You won’t have to worry about the infamous “swamp ass” every summer, and you won’t be greeted by that strangely offsetting smell every time you unzip your fly to pee.
How To Groom Your Taint
If you’ve decided that you want to take the next step and begin grooming your taint, you’ll need to be up to a challenge. Depending on the size of your body and your flexibility, reaching your taint to groom it can definitely be a challenge. Here’s the step-by-step process.
Step #1: Spread Your Legs
Yes, we mean it. When your legs are together, they’re going to be scrunching up all of your taint skin. You want the shaving surface to be as flat and smooth as possible before you start sticking sharp razors up there.
Oh, and by the way, for sanitary reasons you should probably do this after you take a shower.
Step #2: Preliminary Shearing
Your taint hair will most likely be long and thick. Too thick for a normal razor. That’s where The Lawn Mower (Manscaped’s awesome electric trimmer) comes in. Use the electric trimmer to cut through some of the long thick hairs and thin out the bush. This will make your shaving razor’s job far easier, and save you some nasty cuts and scrapes.
Step #3: Lots Of Shaving Cream
The trick to not slipping and cutting yourself is to use lots of shaving cream. We recommend using a genital-friendly shaving cream, but at the end of the day a good old-fashioned can of Barbasol works just fine.
Lather it on there, make it so thick that you can even see the hair anymore. If you want a smooth shave, this is hands-down the best piece of prep-work that you can do.
Step #4: Break Out The Plow
Now that your taint looks like Santa’s beard, it’s time to break out The Plow (a.k.a. Manscaped’s high-quality safety razor). With your legs spread and your balls lifted in the air, take your shaving hand and razor and shave up and out. You’ll want to make a V-shaped movement on each side of your leg.
Repeat this process and move back up your taint little by little until you’re satisfied with the results.
Step #5: Clean, Tone, and Moisturize
The final step to grooming your taint is to clean, tone, and moisturize it after shaving. As we already mentioned, your taint isn’t exactly a clean place, so you’ll want to step back in the shower for a quick soap and rinse-down.
Once you get out, hit your freshly-shaved taint with the Crop Reviver toner to cleanse and tighten your pores. Then, spread a little bit of the Crop Preserver on the area to prevent chafing. If you’re feeling really fancy, rub a little bit of Manscaped’s Refined Cologne down there to get things smelling fresh as can be.
You see? In all actuality, it’s not as hard as your mind makes it out to be. The only difficult part is getting into the right position to begin with. Once you get that down, though, shaving your taint is no different than shaving the rest of your body.
So what are you waiting for? Pick up The Perfect Package, and start enjoying the newfound freedom of walking around hairless and polished.