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THE GENTLEMen's DEPARTMENT

THE GENTLEMen's DEPARTMENT

August 27, 2018

Is Using Chemical Lotions to Remove Pubic Hair a Good Idea?

We understand. You get busy. Maybe it’s just a little laziness. Regardless, manscaping can feel like a real chore sometimes. When that feeling strikes, you might cast about to find an easier solution. Many, in that search, turn to chemical hair removal lotions and creams. Before you grab one off the shelf and go to town on yourself, you should know a few things. These creams aren’t what you expect, and they may not be your preferred hair-removal method for below-the-waist grooming.

Pain

Here’s the attention grabber. You’re wondering if chemical hair removal will hurt. The answer is yes. Actually, it’s hell yes. Putting hair removal cream on your genitals just might be stupid enough to be the next viral teen challenge. Just. No.

Now, to be fair, plenty of creams are designed to be gentle on your skin. We don’t want to undermine or short sell these efforts. The creams can work very well. But. But. But. Absolutely none of them are designed or certified to be used on genitals. You can look at the product reviews for any hair removal cream and find the post from the overzealous sap who put it on his junk. The story is always the same.

No matter how gentle a cream is, it is not intended for super sensitive skin. The warning labels tell you not to put it on your eyes. Whey then would you rub it on your junk?! Your balls are sensitive to this stuff, and they will not forgive you. Even worse, there’s a risk you can get cream up in the urethra. Even a microscopic amount would be enough to introduce you to a level of agonizing and suffering no man should experience. Even if you take the time to test the cream on your arm, the likelihood that you are going to experience flooring pain when you put it in your groin is too much. Don’t take that risk.

 Fertility

This is a common joke, right? You put hair cream on your balls and then you can’t have kids. The truth is that this simply hasn’t been studies. As we just said, the creams aren’t intended for use with genitals. Since they already have the disclaimer, why would cream developers want to unveil a potential risk to their customers?

Again, we aren’t picking on the companies that make these creams. When used as intended, they’re just fine. The point to all of this is that it’s a massive unknown, and there isn’t a compelling reason to study the issue. It would be like testing if applying monkey saliva to your balls causes infertility. The real answer is to just not do it. Where are you getting monkey saliva anyway you freak?

The other side of this coin is your own maturity. We’ve made as many “no baby” jokes as anyone. We can certainly understand the instinctive reaction to shy away from having kids. All jokes aside, there’s no reason to throw the dice here. It’s easier than ever to avoid accidental kids. Why take the option of fatherhood away from your future self?

is using chemical lotions to remove pubic hair a good idea?

Permanence

So, this is admittedly a lesser issue for hair removal creams. Most of them are not designed to cause permanent hair loss. It is an uncommon side-effect with any chemical hair removal, but it’s not a driving concern for this discussion. The bigger point is that some treatments are intended to be permanent, and that brings up serious issues.

For starters, any chemical that will forever strip hair from your body is going to be far more intense than your standard brands. That means the pains, risks and other negative factors will be dialed up to 11. We’ll remind you again that absolutely none of these treatments are engineered to work safely with your meat and veg. None. So, if you were crazy enough to undergo such a process, you’d be facing more than just pain. You could risk real damage to your penis. And your balls.

Even without those risks, permanent hair removal is not the enticing manscaping solution you might expect it to be. The truth is that trends are always changing. What is popular today might be shunned tomorrow. Regardless, the one thing that is universally true is that the male member is kinda weird looking. When you go fully bald, you don’t flatter yourself, and doing it permanently will risk forever losing one of the peak benefits of manscaping: being more attractive in the bedroom.

Disfiguring

Disfiguring is a strong word. It probably invokes images of the Phantom of the Opera and his weird mask. In truth, the term doesn’t always have to be severe. While it might feel like it, hair removal creams aren’t going to melt your balls off. That said, they can cause severe irritation, discoloration and other skin conditions. These can lead to disfiguration that easily lasts for months or longer.

Think of it this way. If you were going to get a spray-on tan (we expect better from you), would you spray your junk too? Even if you knew there was a risk it could turn you splotchy or orange? That same risk exists with these removal creams. If there’s one thing we can promise, it’s that having a discolored or disfigured member is not going to help you in the bedroom. For every truly experimental person who’s into that, there are a million who will assume you have a flesh-eating STI and run screaming from the bedroom. It’s the ultimate strikeout. 

The Safe Way to Handle Your Balls 

Why do you always go straight to the masturbation joke in your head? Ok, fine. We did too. But, pretending to be serious for a moment, there’s a more reliable way to handle hair below the belt. You already know that. You want a shortcut because it takes time and effort, but you’re also grown up enough to know that all good things in life require time and effort. So, instead of devastating chemical hair removal, consider this approach. 

Trimming Is Easy and Painless

The Lawn Mower 2.0 is the pinnacle of testicular safety. It’s also safe around your other parts, but the balls provide the gold standard of tests. When you trim over a Magic Mat, the flexible blade module makes it virtually impossible to accidentally cut or nick yourself. That plus the high RPM motor means you won’t be tugging on the hair that you cut. It’s a smooth, fast, painless process. 

Is Using Chemical Lotions To Remove Pubic Hair a Good Idea?

Shaving Requires Care

The Plow has no less safety invested into its design than the Lawn Mower 2.0, but shaving is a different animal. Still, if you stick to the basic technique of slow, short, measured strokes, the two-edge safety design will protect you just fine. The trick to these two steps is to do them before you shower.

Why You Shower Third

Even though you’re using safe tools, removing hair is a little rough on the skin and hair follicles. Washing with Crop Cleanser can overcome that roughness and restore the skin and hair to healthy states by utilizing its Active pH Control formula. That’s something that chemical hair removal misses. It’s just trying to get rid of hair. It doesn’t promote healthy regrowth, and that is far more important than many manscapers realize. It’s the key to defeating irritation.

There’s Still More

Appealing to the philosophy of showering with Crop Cleanser, you also want to regularly apply Crop Preserver. It also uses a lasting pH formula. It adds to that by helping you control moisture levels under your shorts. Best of all, it keeps you feeling cool and fresh throughout the day.

In addition to Crop Preserver, there’s a final tool in your kit: Crop Reviver. We recommend a spritz or two after applying your deodorant, but its usefulness extends farther. At any point that you need a little refresher throughout the day, a spritz or two is all it takes. It’s perfectly gentle, so you can’t over apply it.

Is Using Chemical Lotions To Remove Pubic Hair a Good Idea?

The biggest thing to remember is the primary difference between the resources in the Perfect Package 2.0 and chemical hair removal creams. Manscaping tools are designed for your junk. They’re specifically made to give you better and safer control of your manhood. They’re also supplemented by the vast knowledge bank available at Manscaped.com. With such a resource, you won’t be walking into this blindly. You’ll know everything necessary to turn your manscaping routine into an enjoyable part of your lifestyle.

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