Manscaping Horror Stories of Reddit
You may have heard the phrase “there are no stupid questions.” That’s a good philosophy for a classroom. In the real world, there can be a very wrong way to do something. When that something is manscaping, doing it wrong is beyond disastrous. These stories highlight some of the most common and most extreme ways manscaping can go wrong. Maybe they’ll ease your embarrassment from your own mishaps. Maybe they’ll scare you into doing a better job with your male grooming. Regardless, they should bring you some entertainment.
Not the Nair!
Reddit user deadmanjd taught the world a valuable lesson. He did his homework. When he planned his first Nair session, it was with knowledge and expectations. There was every reason to expect it to be a simple, painless session. He overlooked one important thing.
As you might imagine, an untamed bush can be a bit itchy on some guys. For our poor hero in this story, it was perhaps too itchy. He explained that he had been scratching vigorously for a few days before his Nair session. In fact, it was part of his motivation. If you’ve ever read the warning label on a bottle of Nair, you might know where this is going.
Deadmanjd’s scratching was intense enough that it left small fissures in his skin around the groin. When he applied the hair-removal cream, it did its job and cleared the pubes. It also seeped deeper into the skin than normal, and this poor fella was left with pain and burning for a couple of days.
Here’s what we can all learn from this story. Depilatories work, but they require more care and attention than we might think. If itchiness can lead to suffering, you need a better plan before applying a cream. Start by trimming your bush. That will help with the itchiness. For the next few days, treat the skin with formulas that will improve their health and resilience. Crop Cleanser and Crop Reviver come to mind. When you’re confident that your skin is healthy and uncompromised, you can use your cream. That should help with the pain.
Here’s a final tip: if you’ve never used one of these creams before, do a sensitivity test first. Put a little spot on your arm or upper thigh to see how your body reacts. It could save you from being in the next batch of horror stories.
The Burning Itch
Razor burn and itch plague most new manscapers. So much of manscaping advice is geared towards helping newbies avoid these common problems. Every once in a while, you get a true rebel who blazes his own trail through his pubes. The stories never end well. TempForRazorBurn stands out among those men.
Most guys show some level of caution on their first grooming session. This gentleman felt no such concern. He grabbed a pair of scissors and trimmed the pubes a bit. Then, he reached for his face razor and went to town on himself with reckless abandon. By his own admission, he gave no thought to the grain of his hair or the direction of his shaving. Needless to say, he was suffering when he finished.
There are so many lessons to glean from this mishap. First, get a razor and trimmer that are designed for manscaping (such as the Plow and Lawn Mower 2.0). Also, use them in the right order. You should always trim before shaving. Minimizing hair length before you apply a razor reduces so much irritation to the skin.
Here’s the second lesson. If you do get the itch and burn when you’re done, you can treat it. Crop Preserver is the best tool. It’s ball deodorant with talcum-like gel that soothes irritated skin.
A Hard Waxing Job
A lot of guys consider waxing as a solution to manscaping. It has plenty of merritts - especially for your back. Still, there is a certain aspect of getting your junk waxed that most guys overlook. The fear of pain consumes most of our thoughts, but Redditsnooper77 can shed additional insight on the process.
He learned the hard way that having someone handle your junk in a waxing session can lead to — well — hardness. He had a raging, uncontrollable boner throughout the experience, and it left him rather embarrassed. Based on the comments of his thread, this is a pretty common experience. Of course, most guys lose the wood once the hair gets ripped out of their flesh. The pain kills the mood. Redditsnooper77 is an impressive male who should be celebrated. His boner never flinched, even in the face of a painful waxing session.
It’s ok to laugh. It’s more important to try and learn something. There’s a good chance that your member might respond similarly in a waxing session. It’s not actually a big deal. In some cases, arousal actually makes it easier to handle your junk and prepare the wax and whatnot. As long as your wood doesn’t come with an explosive surprise, it’s fine. Waxers are pros. They’ve seen it before.
The other lesson here is that you don’t need to be embarrassed. This is one of those rare occasions where society allows us to be proud of what we’ve got.
If you’re still worried, then you’ll have to practice self-control before you go to your appointment. Think of your parents having sex or something. It should help.
The Nipple Problem
Most guys have at least a few hairs coming from the nipple region. Some guys have blankets of fur. In either case, hairy nipples aren’t exactly the sexiest thing in the world. Many men have tried to solve the problem. We’re going to learn from two different attempts.
Thisqueenslays figured that waxing would be the solution. He has a fair bit of growth on his chest, so he wanted something efficient. Unfortunately, he underestimated the amount of technique that goes into waxing. Brazenly ripping hair from his nips left them red, bloody and raw. Only afterwards did he decide to practice waxing a bit more and learn to do it better. He found that by practicing on the hairless parts of his arm, he cleaned up the technique and was able to manage his nipple hair better.
Acidshadow157 took a different approach. He only had a few stray hairs, so he figured tweezers were the right solution. He was on a good track. Tweezing is actually one of the best ways to deal with a few stray nipple hairs. His problem came from using the wrong tool. A lot of tweezers come with sharp points. They’re great for grabbing small, precise things, but they’re not so great with flesh. Dear Acidshadow157 accidentally stabbed himself in the areola. A blunted set of tweezers could have prevented his pain.
Our final horror story discusses the cost of not manscaping. You should be fairly warned; this story is not for the squeamish. The username of the redditor who gave us this story has been removed from the site. Maybe that’s for the best.
Our mysterious hero was opposed to manscaping. He enjoyed his raw hairiness and saw no reason to change. He was of the breed who sees a bushy ass as a sign of masculinity. One disturbing event completely changed his world view.
If you’ve ever had food poisoning, you might know that it can get messy. If your ass is hairy enough, that mess becomes unmanageable. This mystery redditor had it so bad that the hair clumped together and actually pulled his ass tight. That’s right. It sealed his butt.
As soon as he recovered, he went after that hair with a vengeance, and he’s been a devoted manscaper ever since. If you’ve ever struggled with motivation for your manscaping, remember this story. The last thing you want is to have volcanic diarrhea and a butt caked shut from the mess. You’re welcome for that image by the way.
Manscaping is a different experience for everyone. If you want that experience to be positive and avoid the Reddit wall of shame, you need the right tools. Manscaped.com has it all, and it's all neatly consolidated in the Perfect Package 2.0. As you now know, skimping on resources can lead to terrible outcomes. Do it the right way from the start.