Top 10 Most Interesting Facts about the Male Testicles
When you think about it, human anatomy—by nature—is a pretty funny thing. There are folds and scents, hormones and natural reactions that go above and beyond anything we'd expect to encounter in a normal day. Yet, there they are: the pieces of people that comprise our bodies.
Of course, genitalia tends to hold its own when it comes to captivating audiences with anatomical mysteries. With this in mind, here are ten interesting facts you should know about male testicles:
1. Human Testes Produce 200 Million Sperm a Day
If you think you're exhausted after a long day of work, just imagine what your testicles have gone through!
Each day, the average male testicle puts together an assembly line of sperm-creating cells that work their way from single particles into entire organizations that ultimately number into the hundreds of millions by simply dividing and reproducing themselves.
2. Testicles are Rooted in Law
The word "testicles" is derived from the Latin word "testis", which means "witness". Although linguists aren't quite sure how these two words came to be connected, some believe ancient Romans had to lay their balls on the line when they swore to the truth (or testified) in court.
3. Smaller Balls Mean Deeper Bellows in the Howler Monkey Community
Deep, burly voices have long been considered part of the overall sex-appeal package in men—just look at the notoriety Johnny Cash and Barry White built for themselves based on their voices alone.
In fact, there are a lot of creatures in the animal kingdom that have come to appreciate deep howls and loud sounds as a means of signifying they're ready to get down and dirty between the sheets (or leaves, bushes, brush, dirt, or prairie grass, as the case may be).
As it turns out, the whooping and hollering that happens across communities of various creatures isn't just a mechanism for showing off which mammal is the most macho of the potential male mates; the sounds are actually rooted in science.
Howler monkeys, for example, are literally showcasing the size of their nut sacks when they shout their loud songs through the trees. The larger the balls, the higher pitched the mating call. Monkeys with smaller balls get to have deeper tones. It seems Mother Nature afforded this species a trade-off between having the ability to attract females with sexy noises or being built with balls that offer plenty of sperm-producing power.
4. One of Your Nuts Really is Larger Than the Other
Think you're imagining one of your guys hanging lower and longer than the other one, you can rest assured that it's not in your head. Although there are varying studies and theories as to why guys' testicles tend to measure in at different lengths, it seems to be a universal truth that one ball— typically the left one— likes to be closer to the gravitational pull of the Earth.
For obvious reasons, the already-tight real estate between your legs would be pretty uncomfortable if your balls were situated side-by-side symmetrically. It makes sense that the male body is designed in a way that keeps these two key parts of the anatomy from crushing each other. Science also seems to suggest that each side of the scrotum is charged with different types of temperature regulation, which is important for the proper production of sperm (and ultimately human reproduction).
5. Human Testicles Contain More Diverse Proteins Than Any Other Organ in the Body
Human beings' bodies contain nearly 20,000 proteins— essential components, which are found in every single cell of peoples' organs, tissues, blood, muscles, cartilage...and everything else. Of these, an astounding 82% are expressed from the testes. Most of the proteins found in sperm are responsible for—you guessed it!—encoding swimmers with all the things they'll need to know to create future human beings, should they get the opportunity to hook up with an egg during an adventure down the urethra.
6. De-Balled Boys Used to Gain Fame
Back in the days when women weren't allowed to sing in the Roman Catholic Church's choir, pre-pubescent boys' voices were needed to fulfill the falsetto tones that are often sung by females today. As we all know, young males eventually grow into men with deeper voices that no longer fit the roles of those high-pitched tones.
To prevent puberty from taking over the voices of their most talented vocalists, pre-20th century Romans castrated their star players, creating the famous singers known as castrati. The removal of the testicles stopped testosterone from being produced, enabling the singers to keep their high, youthful appeal while serving an essential spot in the sounds of the sacred choir.
As history shows, not only does the removal of testicles before the teenage years keep boys' voices high, it prevents their bones from hardening. Back in the day, testicle-free singers also had rib cages that enabled them to hold their breath capacity for days (figuratively, of course).
7. Swamp Crotch Isn't Caused by Sweat
Similar but different, the stench that emits itself from the space beneath your boxers and briefs isn't actually caused by sweat; it's the end result of the bacteria that colonizes within the nooks and crannies of your sensitive skin folds.
In an area that's already deprived of fresh air, bacteria can get pretty fat and happy on your balls. This hot and steamy environment is the perfect place for unpleasant odors to be born, bringing with them the embarrassing situations that force your reputation to precede you—and, unfortunately, linger long after you're gone.
To prevent the creation of swamp crotch, you need to use a bacteria-battling ball deodorizer that's specifically formulated freshness below the belt.
8. Everybody's Testicles Start Inside Their Bodies
The ultimate destination of this reproductive organ ends on the outside of the body (in humans, at least), but testicles actually develop in the abdomen. For the majority of men, their testicles drop into the external position during the last few weeks before theiy're born. This is why premature babies have a higher percentage of undescended testicles that babies that go to full term. Even full-term babies, however, can have testicles that stay inside their bodies after they're born.
Usually, they find their own way to the external position they're known for, but sometimes, undescended testicles need a little help making it to the outside world, either by way of gentle hand-guided navigation or a surgical procedure.
9. Testicles Can Actually Go Back Into the Abdomen
A lot of people don't realize that testicles can go back into hibernation, even after they've been hanging low and steady for years. Infants—and even prepubescent boys—can experience magically disappearing testicles. Missing berries can happen when the muscles in the scrotum have a reflex and push the boys back up into the belly.
10. The Ancient Aztecs Really Knew How to Get Their Nuts Off
You know the word "avocado" as a fruit that produces tasty things like guacamole and hipster toast. What you probably don't know is that in Nahuatl—the language of the ancient Aztecs who inhabited central Mexico at the time of the Spanish conquest—the word that represented this fruit was multi-faceted.
Aguacate was the word used to reference an avocado (or avocado pear, as they're known in British English). Thanks to the fact that their shape is impeccably similar to a certain part of the male anatomy, the original Nahuatl word Aguacate also means "testicle".
If you're trying to unveil the mysteries of your nether region, start by deforesting the front range. With Manscaped's Perfect Package 2.0, you'll have everything you need to see the tree beyond the weeds. A quick trim here and a spritz of aftershave there will keep you fresh and ready to impress—no matter where your testicles may take you.