What is a Banana Grundle? (Hint: You’ll Laugh)
Some of us at the office are starting to feel a little old. It can get tough to keep up with all of the new phrases the kids are throwing around these days. But, that’s just additional motivation for us to make sure you never get left behind. You might think you can guess what a banana grundle is, but you’re probably not quite right.
Exploring the Grundle
For those of you not in the know, we’ll get right to the big reveal. It’s a little funnier directly from the horse’s mouth. It’s ok if you were the awkward white guy in this video. Now, you’re more educated. It also brings up a good point. Who among us hasn’t been captivated by the mystery and magic that is yoga pants? You aren’t the first to fall victim to their power, and you won’t be the last.
But, it’s not really fair to ogle the grundles of others without also caring for our own. That’s the point of today’s session. We’re going to discuss the grundle at length. By the time we’re done, you should have a fair idea of how to properly manscaped one of the most overlooked parts of the body. It’ll leave you fresher, more attractive and primed for the best sex of your life.
The Heart of the Swamp
If you pay any attention at all to your own body, you already know that your grundle is the source of some of the most foul odors known to man. The only thing worse is a teenager’s gym sock that doubles as a faux condom. Shudder. Anyways, the grundle provides the swampy part of swamp ass, and anyone who wants to have any action in the bedroom needs to get this under control. We’re confident that you’re smart enough to realize that this entails trimming the hair down there.
Before you grab your trimmer and get to work, there are a few things you should know. First, grundle hairs are typically fairly fine, and they require a lot less effort to manage than pubes. That said, they’re quite obviously more difficult to reach. There are a few schools of thought on how best to deal with the grundle, but they all adhere to two general principles. First, the hair needs to be short enough to combat the swampiness and help you smell better. Second, taint hair should never be longer than your pubes. That doesn’t mean you have to shave everything, but whatever trimmer length you use on the pubes should be at least one notch longer than the grundle.
There’s one other notion to consider before you get to grooming. The grundle is extremely sensitive. For those of you who are little less experienced, the taint is a pleasure zone that is key to unlocking higher levels of sexual ecstasy. While that’s a lot of fun during play time, it can act as a double-edged sword when it comes to grooming. If you leave it in rough shape, it’s going to chafe, burn, and itch. And, it’ll be substantially more uncomfortable than those same issues plaguing your balls. Keep that in mind.
A Safe Taint Is a Happy Taint
So, whether you go for a shave or just a trim, there’s a little bit of technique that can improve your control and help you avoid those unpleasant symptoms. The first thing to know is that you need a hand mirror. Pick something you don’t mind getting covered in taint hair, because it’s bound to happen. The mirror is going to go on your Magic Mat™ shaving mat, and you are going to squat over it. This will pull your thighs out of the way, and it will give you the best exposure to get the job done.
Regardless of your end game, you need to start with a trim. However, we do not recommend going straight for the kill. Even if you are going to shave, you want at least a little bit of guard between your flesh and the head of The Lawn Mower™ 2.0 trimmer. The high RPM motor generates a lot of heat. Some guys don’t mind, but for first timers, you risk some noticeable discomfort if you go for the shortest possible trim off the bat.
After you have trimmed, you'll want to shower immediately. A lot of guys like to shower before they shave. Others prefer to shave in the shower. We’re not huge fans of either approach. If you shave first, you’ll loosen the hair follicles a bit, but you won’t be able to really get all of the little hair clippings unless you shower again. Nobody wants that, and nobody wants the incessant itching of freshly cropped hair on their taint. Besides being uncomfortable, you can’t scratch that in public and impress people. They’ll assume you have an infection.
Shaving in the shower can be convenient, but manscaping can be delicate work, and the shower is a noob trap. No matter how confident you feel, squatting and stretching to get to all of the awkward places when you manscape will inevitably lead to a slip. Slips lead to cuts. Cuts lead to suffering. The truth is, a little shaving gel is all the lubrication you need. You have better vision and control out of the shower, and washing yourself post grooming is the best way to immediately restore damaged skin and prevent infection and irritation. Crop Cleanser™ hair and body wash works as soon as it touches your skin. But, shaving scrapes skin away, and it’s the most effective means to completely nullify Crop Cleanser’s impressive benefits.
The last important part of your process happens after the shower. You want to pat dry and then apply Crop Preserver™ ball deodorant. The healing and pH properties that it utilizes to restore your ball sack also help your grundle. You can easily rub a little application into the skin. It’ll protect you from dryness and irritation. It will also help with friction and keeping you cool. That reduces much of the sweat that was our original enemy. You’ll also find that it soothes the skin so razor burn and bumps are a minimal threat.
Crop Preserver is at its very best when you pair it with Crop Reviver™ toner. The toner is the last line of defense against smelliness, and it has the rest of the magic, revitalizing formula. The best part of Reviver is that it isn’t limited to a single use. Throughout the day, if you start to get a little musty, a spritz or two can keep things under control.
It’s Worth the Effort
That is the culmination of techniques that will keep your grundle in great shape. It’s an absolute necessity if you want to encourage women to play with that part of your body during sex. And, trust us, that is exactly what you want. For those of you who don’t know first hand, females aren’t the only humans with a g spot. In fact, a near perfect anatomical analogue exists in men, and it’s located near the prostate.
Medical professionals have known about this for years. Veterinarians even utilize the male g spot to help induce ejaculation in animals. We’re not sure why they need to get the animals off, but they’ve definitely perfected the science. A few fun nights with a vet chick will prove that in no time.
We’re getting distracted. The point is that you can turn your swamp ass into an inviting sexual playground. And, few things will make your partner feel sexier than the responses they get from you when they start incorporating grundle play into your bedroom. That leads to all kinds of additional fun, and that’s what we’re after. We do the work of manscaping in order to reap the benefits later.
If learning about your grundle has inspired you to get more serious about your manscaping, you need to spend more time at MANSCAPED.COM. What started as a way to help gents like you get the tools they need has transformed into a repository of knowledge that can answer any question and guide anyone with enough devotion to manscaping nirvana.