Another roommate took manscaping to new levels, and he loved to show off his artistry. He came up with some innovative designs. Then he got way into the "Flash" TV series and trimmed lightning bolts into his pubes. “What kind of signal are you trying to send this chick?” someone asked.

Unfortunately for me, I never changed the batteries in my trimmer. As the batteries lost power, the trimmer got slower. Eventually, it got so slow that it sucked my hair into a tangle and wouldn’t let go. I wasn’t going to ask my roommates for help because they would torture me forever. Instead, I called my girlfriend, who then told everyone what happened.

I didn't have anyone who could tell me how to properly manscape. My dad features the 70s-porn-star look, so he was no help. And, the last thing I am going to do is tell my brother how much trouble I'm having shaving my cock and balls. That little nugget would come out as ammunition during the annual roast my family calls Thanksgiving. So, I learned on my own and I made every mistake under the sun. I cut my cock with a razor, snipped my ball sack with scissors, gave my taint razor burn, shaved against the grain and gave myself flaming red pimples, and I even splashed aftershave on my balls after finishing up. The burn put me on the bathroom floor in the fetal position crying like I'd been prison raped.