Home Alone Manscaping Hair Removal Stories
Grooming and hair removal at home can be the most relaxing and fun experience when done right. As long as you have the right equipment and the proper attitude, you'll likely never even get a minor cut or nick. Some people, however, aren't so lucky.
We've all probably got one or two friends who've attempted their grooming while home alone and managed to make a mess of it. Whether they're trying out a new look for a partner, trimming themselves for a big date, or simply trying to look their best for a competition, men all around the world make mistakes every day of the year.
We've scoured the web to find some of the most bizarre and hilarious manscaping and hair removal stories you'll ever find. So strap yourselves in and get ready for a swift lesson on how NOT to do manscaping...
Ballsing up hair removal at home
In a story from a GQ article, an anonymous 30-something described how he managed to cock-up some manscaping in the most horrific way possible. Reader discretion advised, this isn't graphic, but you still might feel a little uncomfortable about what he did.
The unlucky government employee describes how he usually uses “those nail scissors with the rounded tip” to trim his balls when he's feeling like a fresh new look. However, as he'd just recently moved house, the only thing he had at hand was an unwieldy pair of “kitchen scissors.”
The poor soul was so focused on keeping his package out the way out these scissors that when he went in to trim his sack he unfortunately didn't notice that some of his skin was caught between the blades! Uh-oh.
Thankfully, he managed to walk away with just a minor cut on his sack (it could have ended very badly). However, he describes how he “literally went blind for like five seconds” once he'd realized what he'd done. Definitely make sure you use the right equipment (LINK) next time, buddy.
MMA hair removal horror
In one story we found on Reddit (in the subreddit r/TooAfraidToAsk) a user by the name DeadRobot14 gave a great reason for why he removes hair around his butt. It just might make you cringe, though.
The original poster had asked a question about effectively removing hair around his ass when DeadRobot14 chimed in with his story about why he needed to constantly tidy up that particular area.
According to the BJJ and MMA fan, it was essential for him to use an electric trimmer and “buzz pretty much all” of his body hair, otherwise “people end up tearing out handfuls” during his training sessions. Ouch! He went on to describe having “bald spots” from people “grabbing and twisting” his hair in the middle of sparring.
He did give some great advice, though. Standing in the bathtub and using an electric razor is the best way to get the job done, according to him. This is a brilliant way to ensure the clean-up afterwards flies by smoothly.
Hair removal cream from Hell
If you scour the Amazon reviews for a certain hair removal cream, you might just come across a number of humorous and horrifying reviews left by some very, very unlucky men. One such review describes a “violent burning” around his most sensitive of areas after testing out the product.
This reviewer tells a story all about how he'd decided to take the plunge and try out a hair removal cream at home as a romantic gesture for his partner on her birthday. After applying the cream, though, he noticed a “gentle warmth,” which quickly escalated to an “intense burning” around his butt.
This pour soul's hilarious review ends with him describing how he had to “crawl” to his freezer and position him buttocks over a tub of ice cream for some much-needed relief! That's certainly one way to alleviate the pain.
Another cream-related incident occurred in that GQ article we linked in the first entry. An unlucky chap was attempting to get rid of his trimmed chest hair “for summer,” but ended up convinced his “nipples were coming off” from the horrible burning sensation.
Maybe stay away from the cream if you don't know how to use it, guys?
What else can go wrong?
Sorry, we're not done with the horror stories just yet. Plenty of things can go wrong in the manscaping department if you decide to dive straight in without a little bit of guidance from us. Here are some tips to avoid those accidents and mishaps you've read about online:
- If you don't know how to use them then just avoid hair-removal cream for now. Nobody wants a burnt ball sack or bottom!
- Don't shave your down-under if you think you have genital warts. You can cut the wart and spread the infection.
- Avoid those awkward and unsightly ingrown hairs by getting the job done properly. It's painful and it looks awful.
- Please, please, please pay attention to what you're doing. Go slow. Don't watch TV or daydream while trimming yourself. Who knows what you could snip off with a pair of scissors?!
We've had enough of thinking about what can go wrong when an unseasoned groomer gets his hand on a razor, so let's finish up by covering how to do it properly, shall we?
Getting the job done properly
Now that we've got those horror stories out the way, let's set you straight! Manscaping at home is perfectly safe if you do it properly, with the right equipment, so don't be fretting if you've never tried or have an unsteady hand.
Always remember to:
- Use a new razor or trimmer.
- Clean up beforehand and afterwards.
- Go slow, it's not a race.
- Wash your razor between strokes.
- Give yourself enough time to get the job done.
Check out some of the other articles and guides on our site to find more information on how you can go about shaving your sensitive parts like a seasoned pro. In no time at all you're be putting salons out of business if you stick with us!