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THE GENTLEMen's DEPARTMENT

THE GENTLEMen's DEPARTMENT

October 02, 2018

Top 5 Traits of a Confident Alpha Male

People love to talk about alphas. Some say that every man should be an alpha. Others contend that they don’t actually exist. Science aside, we can probably all agree that we have seen men at times who seem to exhibit an aura of authority and confidence. While we could argue back and forth as to how much every man should be like that, there are a few valuable lessons we can all learn from stereotypical alpha males. They can be seen as the five most important alpha traits.

1. He’s a Do-it-Yourself Guy

We’re not talking about having an amazing Pinterest account here. Instead, a true alpha is ready to do things himself. This can be small and simple like staying late to clean the bathroom at the end of a shift. It can be big things like confronting the guy who looks like he’s about to take a too-drunk girl home. It can also be huge things like starting a movement or going to war. It’s hard to generalize such a massive concept, but the point always comes back to the same thing. An alpha isn’t waiting for someone else to get something done or make a difference. He’s ready to do it himself.

This can be your first check to see how alpha you are. Have you ever wished somebody would change something you don’t like? Is it because your plate was just that full, or were you hesitating or hiding? It’s a tough truth, but everyone has to start somewhere.

There’s an important side-note to this concept. No one can do everything themselves. Many alphas get in over their heads because they don’t delegate enough or they get too optimistic about how much time they have. The ultimate alpha can leave things to other people once they’ve convinced him they’re up to the task. It’s just something to keep in mind as you go down this road.

five traits of a confident alpha male

2. He Has Patience

Do you want to know the easiest way to spot a faux-alpha? He exhibits obvious impatience. It’s borne of a lack of confidence. Someone who is trying to appear tough and together can easily be disturbed when things derail a plan. The guy who shouts at the waitress for bringing the wrong food or the gate agent for a delayed flight isn’t an alpha. Maybe he’s an alpha sometimes and is having a particularly rough day, but losing your shit over nothing is never a sign of confidence.

In fact, it’s the opposite. When you have genuine confidence in your ability to face any challenge, it’s easy to remain calm when things go bad. You can receive bad news, calmly assess the situation, and then take action to deal with it.

This is a good time to note that many of the positive traits that come with being alpha are built around this concept. An alpha is interested in affecting change, whether that’s fixing a wrong order or restructuring society. Yelling at the messenger is pretty much never a way to actually change things. So, if there’s a central point in this, it’s that the alpha pretty much always acts from a position of confidence. He can handle things as long as he has a correct assessment of the situation.

3. He Does Not Hesitate

To the uninitiated, this and the previous idea will feel contradictory. How can you stop, take a deep breath and assess a situation before acting without hesitating? Isn’t that the very essence of hesitation? This misconception is at the core of the faux-alpha. Because he is interested in appearing confident rather than being effective, the faux-alpha acts too soon. Appearing to act right away is what is most important to him.

Do you have anything you’re pretty good at? Do you have a favorite video game where you destroy your friends? That’s a good way to understand hesitation. When you’re good at something, you don’t feel rushed or hurried while you do it. To others you might appear fast, but to you it’s just another day in the office. That’s how the alpha lives his whole life. He knows how to handle himself. When adversity strikes, he pauses long enough to form a plan of action, and then he is following it. You’ve done this in at least one area of your life at some point. Extending it to everything is how you become a complete alpha.

4. He’s Always Learning

This makes it seems like you have to be amazing at absolutely everything to be an alpha. In fact, some alphas really will seem like they’re great at everything. That’s an unintentional illusion. The truth is that an alpha is the way he is because of his nature. He always wants to learn, grow and improve. Gaining knowledge and developing skills is one of his favorite things in life. He knows that he might not be able to master everything, but any little bit he can add to his repertoire will come in handy at some point.

An alpha is great at his trade, but he’s at least an amateur in a bunch of other areas. This can include practical skills like auto mechanics, carpentry and plumbing, but it can also include social skills like dancing, cooking and wine tasting. The pursuit of growth leads to growth, and this is a default state for an alpha. It’s also one of the central pillars of his confidence. He doesn’t trust himself in adverse situations because he’s egotistical. Instead, he has a confidence that stems from a lifetime of trying to learn and master anything and everything.

top five traits of a confident alpha male

5. He Has No Comfort Zone

You’ve been told your whole life that you need to get out of your comfort zone. You’ve probably even taken that advice at least a few times. The difference between an alpha and everyone else is that he has no comfort zone in the first place. He has spent so much time and energy tackling new challenges and situations that it has become his default state. He’s so comfortable in weird situations that he always appears composed. It’s not a matter of being superhuman. It’s a matter of practice.

You see, some alphas are born, but plenty are made. If you aren’t the former, you might have to play a little catch up, but you can in fact catch up. A natural alpha genuinely enjoys facing the unknown. You can develop that enjoyment. It’s just a matter of effort. You simply have to take the advice everyone has been giving you and dial it up to 11. Tackle every new experience you can handle, and if those experiences involve learning or developing skills, that’s even better. If you completely immerse yourself in this lifestyle, you really can transform into an alpha.

There’s a caveat we need to stop and consider. Everyone has limits. Getting out of your comfort zone won’t magically erase yours. Instead, it’ll help you understand where those limits rest. That’s also a part of confidence. Knowing what you can and can’t do can help you steer yourself down a path you can actually follow and find success in all aspects of your life.

Bonus: He Has True Courage

Everything up until now can be a simple matter of practice. You can coax yourself into being more of a do-it-yourself guy. You can expand your knowledge and abilities by getting out of your comfort zone and taking on new challenges. Doing this will help you develop the confidence to act with patience but without hesitation. There’s one more essential trait to a true alpha, and it isn’t something you can practice. Instead, it requires a direct, bold, hard and honest look at yourself.

An alpha is not fearless, but he has courage. Fearlessness is ignorant, and it often gets people into trouble rather than out of it. Genuine courage is something else. It’s moving forward in spite of fear, and it manifests in many ways. The thing is, you don’t have to be born with the heart of a lion to discover your courage. Instead, real courage comes from knowing your own values.

The bravest men in history have been able to accomplish incredible feats. We would all call them alphas. The misconception is that they are innately extraordinary people. That might be true in terms of how skilled they were at things, but the courage was perfectly ordinary. It simply stemmed from knowing what was worth more than their own life before they faced mortal danger. 

top 5 traits of an alpha male

Courage isn’t always life and death, but it can always be found when someone is honest with themselves about what they are willing to risk. Is it worth getting into a fist fight over a spilled drink? Why? An alpha has answered this question long before the situation ever arises. To get there, you need to know what is worth risking your pride, your wealth, your comfort and, ultimately, your safety. You need to know when you would be willing to stand between someone and danger, when something is worth quitting a job, and even when it’s time to say no. It’s a lot to understand, and it takes time, but when you honestly reflect and know your values, you prepare yourself to rise to any occasion.

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